hippyherpy

Do you think they cared about herpes back in Game of Thrones Times? It's only now with marketing for pharma that people are freaked out.

The first thing is to find out what the other person knows about it, not what neccesrily what they feel about it. The reason for this is that the majority of people either don't know much about it, or are informed by misinformation and false stigma. If they base how they feel off of that stuff, then you are going to probably get a rejection. Before you start to talk about feelings, find out what they know about it. If they don't know anything about it, or have the wrong info, you can educate them right then and there. Once they have an accurate picture of what herpes is, then you will have an accurate gauge on how they feel about it. In general, too many people make decisions based on how they feel while completely ignoring the facts.

The drama of disclosing is all up to you. It's not like you are disclosing to him that you've got some killer STD. It's only herpes, a largely benign skin condition for which most people don't have symptoms. Hell, he might already even have it if he's slept with more than three people. He was probably just crying because he saw you cry. Guess that makes you the leader in the relation FWIW.

You are going to get over the shock and come back stronger. Your gyno is correct and herpes ain't no thing. You will have sex. I've had over 59 partners green light sex since I've gotten diagnosed. Sure there were some "no"s, but whatever- life is about getting rejected and not letting it stop you from pushing forward.

Would you sue someone for giving you a cold? I know herpes isn't a cold, but it seems to me that suing people over herpes only serves to feed the stigma. And then the stigma comes right back to your doorstep, so you'd be fucking yourself over in a way.

Not long at all. as soon as my first blisters healed up I booty called one of the girls iD been hooking up wit. I had told her about it. She told her gyno who said it wasn't a big deal. We had sex. Then I also hooked with one of the others I had be seeing. She didn't seem to care. Then I just went back to normal meeting girls only now I was disclosing. Fuck the stigma it's a load of horseshit.

Point is that if it was a significant problem we would see that reflected in the statistics, for xample, if there was a massive amount of heterosexual white people with HIV. But that's not the case regardless of people lying or leading double lives etc.

If that's the case then why has the gay, needle users, and people of color populations been hit harder by AIDS than people not in those groups?

You don't have herpes now, but if you have sex with more than three people in your life, then you will come in contact with it. If you kiss pretty much anyone, you will come into contact with it. If you let anyone give you oral sex, you almost certainly going to come in contact with it. The good news is that it's not a big deal. You can keep feeding the stigma by making a bigger deal than it needs to be, but it sounds to me that the issues are dealing with have nothing to do with herpes (anxiety and depression) and were there before you ever thought you had herpes. I have a theory that there are at least as many pharmaceutical company shills posting on herpes forums as there are real people. The goal is to maximize profit by keeping the stigma alive and well via fear mongering. And then throw in the possibility that the small majority of people who get extreme symptoms are more likely to post in a herpes forum, and you get a picture of herpes as a terrible nightmare. The reality is that the vast majority of people who have herpes don't even know they have it because they get zero symptoms, so it makes sense they wouldn't post anything at all on herpes forums. Then most people who donget symptoms don't have such a hard time. We have to keep the whole picture of what herpes is in mind and not just focus on the tiny corner of the frame that is dominated by horror stories and likely fake accounts from corporate bots.

If someone hasn't had a break out in over a year, are those cells going to still be there to make it easier for HIV? Also if you are worried about getting HIV, you'd avoid having sex with high risk populations regardless of whether or not you had herpes.

Here's the thing- if herpes increases the chance of getting HIV, and so many people get cold sores, it would stand to reason that there would be massive numbers of people contracting HIV by giving oral sex. Right? I could be wrong, but I think HIV is only something to really be worried about if you are in a high risk population for it regardless of whether or not you have herpes. Does that make sense?

Many times success dating while having herpes.

There are many many people who don't care if their partner has herpes or not.

You don't need to quarantine yourself on an STD specific dating website. I can guarantee you that there millions of people on Tunder or OkCupid who have herpes too. Regardless of herpes, don't rely on online dating to meet people. Get out there in real life and make real connections with people. Don't hide behind a computer screen. All you are doing is making software developers richer.

"Sexual limitations" These doom and gloom propaganda posts really do sound like pharmaceutical shills. Be careful not to get stuck on a negative track of lies and stigma. A lot of people are using herpes as an excuse or scapegoat for not being able to get what the young want from life. Don't dwell in victimhood. Good read my ladies man dislcosure thread and get your game together instead of blaming it on herpes. I and others have proven that you can have a bountiful sex life with herpes and disclosure. It's really not a big deal to have herpes. Almost everyone has it, and if you don't, then you are the weird one.

Can we please stop with the fear mongering stigma feeding thread titles and posts about how having herpes is a death sentence? Sometimes I wonder if these kinds of posts are bots from tthe pharmaceutical companies trying to drum up the stigma so they get make more money from selling drugs.

You aren't doomed. That's just you buying into the stigma. Many many people knowingly get married to partners who have herpes. Really not a big deal. Be careful not use "scapegoat" this predominantly unnoticeable skin condition into the reason why you aren't getting the results you want from your live life. There are definitely millions more fish in the sea to be in relationships with. Don't let a couple rejections get you down. That's just part of life, regardless of herpes.

If someone is worried about getting oral herpes, then they probably shouldn't kiss anyone in the world at all. Otherwise, except that you are going to makeout with people who have it, regardless of disclosure or not, and get over it. Suing someone is not going to make your HSV go away, but it sure will help to feed the stigma. Kind of shooting yourself in the foot with that.

^agreed.

At this point, it's a question of who doesn't have some form of herpes. Pro tip about herpes discussion: HPV is sort of like herpes, and almost everyone knows and agrees that we pretty much all have it. People can understand herpes as pretty much being in the same league as HPV- and actually it's safer than HPV (rare cases of HPV leading to cancer). Herpes isn't all that different from HPV as far as it being a genital blemish goes. I've had disclosures that turn into a general discussion about STDs. In 2017, you can either be a nun, or just except that you are going to come into contact these non fatal, generally non-problematic STDs.

Jokes are supposed to be dehumanizing and terrible etc. by making a big deal out of a herpes joke, you are turning into something much larger than it needs to be and feeding the stigma. They probably do have herpes and don't even know about it anyway.

Learn to take a joke and laugh if they are funny.

Honesty cleanses the soul

Good for you Bambina

He's lying and being weak. Clearly he liked you and is now trying to "be nice" y not admitting the real reason he doesn't want to continue. Two things: Sounds like you've dodged a bullet. If he can't be honest about something like this, imagine how he would have acted in a relationship wherein something that's actually significant came up? There are many other people out there who are totally fine with you having herpes. Most people in the world have it. Ironically, he probably has it too, statistically speaking. If that's the case then he's just rejecting himself as well. Forget him and move on to greener pastures (if which there are many).