hippyherpy

People get rejected all the time for many other things than herpes. Rejection is part of life, regardless of herpes. You can either sulk about it or move on. There's no point in dwelling on it. There are many other people out there who are OK with herpes. Perhaps you need to get better at disclosing. How you disclose can have a big effect on how it's received. Don't take it personally. You didn't get rejected per se, your disclosure got rejected. There are no guaranteed ways to disclose, but some are more effective than others at communicating what herpes really is.

Herpes is a pretty normal part of modern dating at this point. So many people have it, and both types can be passed on. Just tell him the facts. No need for drama. Get on Valtrex and use cindims. Some people don't care at all about it. Some cool even with unprotected sex. Your life isn't over by a stretch. So far, having herpes hasn't stopped me from doing my thing and has actually boosted my resolve in life. The real wake up call is learning all the info. The Adam Ruins Herpes video is really good too because it makes fun of the whole situation. We need more comedy that takes the piss out of the stigma.

There really is an opportunity in herpes disclosure that isn't present without. It is true sharing of the soul, for you and for them. Even though herpes isn't a big deal, the disclosure can be a very powerful demonstration of trustworthiness.

I'm surprised that I never caught HSV 1. Doesn't make sense considering that I've made out out with so many girls.

Look up the Ladies' Man Disclosure Success thread for an outline ok how to disclose when you are sure sex is going to happen. Disclosing too soon can imply to the girl that you've got it set in your mind that you already are pushing for sex. You can always take a break for her to think about it if need be.

People make mistakes. You admitted it. There's not much more you can do about it except letting your experience inform your future choices.

Are you absolutely sure it was you who infected her? She might have already had it but didn't get symptoms. It's also possible that she might have slept with someone else who had it while you were seeing her. Don't beat yourself up. If your doctor didn't make it clear that you had to disclose, and you had no idea about disclosure, then it wasn't like you were trying to hide it from her. It sounds like you didn't think it was a big deal, like many people do with cold sores. Almost nobody discloses cold sores, so that's what it sounds like you were thinking. Either way, it isn't the end of the world. You make it sound like you cut off her arm or something. Not trying to say don't disclose, but you are blowing the impact of herpes way out of proportion. It's just a skin condition for christ's sake. There are many other worse skin conditions that people get. Going forward, disclose to any new partners.

Very rare that they don't go away.

Stop freaking out. Don't let your emotions override the reality of the situation. First of all, go get tested. Second, if you do have it, the outbreaks will likely go away. People get married all the time regardless of herpes. You are in shock, but that's almost completely mental and could be exacerbating the condition if you do have it. It is far from the end of the world. Your love life will continue I promise.

I don't think it has affected my hair.

I swear that I've had many more acceptances than rejections with this.. to the point where so don't even really think about it anymore. I still disclose though. And as far as the virus has affected me personally.. it's been like almost nothing. I had a pimple on my nose yesterday that was about as annoying as my last herpes outbreak. And I had a cold last month that was much worse than any herpes outbreak I've had. Granted I am on daily Valtrex, but still.

Bumping this. Is there a more affordable way to get hold Valtrex?

I think that if you are playing the field then you don't know where herpes comes from as either giver or receiver. I'm actually not against people Taking meds and not having sex on breakouts doing casual sex without disclosure at this point because there's know way to tell who is giving who what anyway, and most of the people who do casual sex know what they are getting into. If you are in a big city doimg causual tinder hook ups or whatever, then you've pretty much signed up for herpes. You are lucky if you hook up with someone who has a good conscience and is taking suppressive meds and you can't really get mad if you catch herpes if you are going to sleeping with random people. Therefore, in my mind, disclosure isn't necessary for that situation. At this same time, if the other person doesn't really care, then they won't care if you do disclose, and if they do, then they are an idiot in a way because they are pretty much asking to get herpes if they do casual sex like that. That said, I have yet to not disclose, even in the casual things. I disclose more for myself to remind myself that herpes isn't a big deal etc. because it really isn't despite the creeping stigma.

It's actually 3 times more likely to get HIV not 5, and if you are worried about HIV, then avoid sex with high risk HIV populations regardless of herpes.

There aren't any subsidies that can be found for Valtrex? Trump is probably going to takeaway people's pills. How can people get Valtrex with the new insurance changes coming?

Medically educated can get herpes easy too. Nurses tend to be very horny and they can't help sometimes they can't themselves when there is an attractive man in their midsts.

I'd disclose for oral.

Not only has getting herpes not been a social death sentence for me, I've used the ocassion to improve my life in ways that I wouldn't have had I not gotten diagnosed. Realize that the power stigma is an illusion, and that these things you are dealing with might not have anything to do with herpes. You are depressed, and that can be a painful place to be. You get a tunnel vision of the story of your life and feel like there is no way out. What I'm going to tell you is that story is not the only story. Recognize that how you feel is not neccessarily who you are, and that feelings can change overtime. Keep in mind that when you bottom out, the only way you can go from there is up. Things will get better. You need to give yourself a chance to heal first. As much as you hate doctors, that might be a good place to go for a professional opinion. You will get better bro. Be patient and take whatever steps you need to triage the situation. I would seek out some professional help, or talk to my buddies or family.

Yes good old father time. Age disclosure: Right before sex: "I want to tell you something.." "What is it? Do you have an STD?" "I'm old" "What? OMG I can't do this.. I thought you were going to say something less scary like you have herpes" hahahha We all get old. And most people get herpes when they get older. Old and herped. It's all good though. More of a reason to make the most of your life while you can.

There is a difference in being completely inconsiderate and not only not telling, but having sex on outbreaks or not using suppressive meds and condoms vs. taking meds, using condoms, and non outbreaks with non disclosure. In once case you are deliberately putting someone at risk, in the other, you are taking as much precaution as possible to protect them even if you aren't telling. The point is that disclosing is not a big deal, having herpes is also not a big deal for the vast majority of those that do have it, and that many many people already have it and don't know, and if you are going to have sex with more than three people in your lifetime, you'd better just suck it up and expect to either be exposed to herpes or get it. By not disclosing, you make it into a much bigger deal than it needs to be. You are feeding the stigma yourself like in your own mind.

If you are hot, then a herpes disclosure isn't going to stop most guys from plowing you. I had two girls disclose to me before I got herpes and I went with it. This isn't the1980s. Herpes really isn't a big deal and almost everyone has it. Even more people have HPV, so that's pretty much the entire population of humans who has some some STD unless you are a nun, and I'm pretty sure the nuns get it on sometimes too ;)

Bambina the reason to disclose is more for you than it is for them. It's about regaining confidence and not living in fear. I agree with you about responsibility and all that. It can be argued that even if you do disclose and give them info and all that and you do all the right things and take pills etc., you are still putting them at some risk, even if they decide to do it, and in many cases, if you do all the right things, you are actually REDUCING their risk by taking them out of a market of people who don't even know they have herpes. If you really want to do the most "ethical" thing, you'd abstain from sex completely and reduce the chance of passing it to zero. That said, that's not how the real world works obviously. Like I said above, you are always putting your partner at some risk. There is always a baseline risk for them to have sex with anybody, regardless of whether they know the status or not. It is for these reasons that I don't look at disclosure as a thing that I need to do because I feel societal pressure. I don't have to disclose. Nobody here does. However, the whole point of this website, from what I understand, is to find the positive things that you can actually gain from herpes disclosure.. things that you couldn't even get unless you had herpes. In this sense, I disclose for almost purely selfish reasons. If I ever decided not to disclose, it would probably be for the same. That might sound messed up, but that's the baseline truth. As far as the other person is concerned, I do disclose because it's polite to do so and it's the right thing to do. That said, I don't think I'd have much remorse if I didn't disclose because I don't think it's really a big deal, especially since I'm doing everything possible to minimize the risk. If I didn't disclose, I'd probably have to ask myself: why not? What are you afraid of? I'd tell myself: "you've already told over thirty new partners about it, why not tell this one?" Then it becomes a challenge to myself. Yes, it can be annoying to have to stop everything and have the talk, but there's also a lot of other annoying things that people have to do on the road to sex. Disclosure is just another one of those things. If you are worried about disclosure making or breaking your chances of success at sex, then herpes isn't your biggest problem. I can say that from my experience it's all about your personality and confidence. You get that stuff together and herpes disclosure is a tiny thing. The opportunity is that herpes disclosure can actually build your confidence in ways that wouldn't be available to you otherwise.

The only black woman with herpes? That's like a joke considering that statistics indicate that 1 out of 2 black women in the US have herpes. You are not alone, sista ;)

Just assume that everyone has HPV. If you are going to have sex these days, it will be hard for you not to get HPV. And that can be said, to a lesser extent about herpes. Good thing is that both of the conditions aren't a big deal for the vast majority of people who have them.. like 80% For me personally, the fun of having sex outweighs not doing and not getting herpes. I'd rather have a good time in the short life that we have and suffer a few bumps once in a while then to never have sex and live in fear of this thing that is actually pretty benign.

I think that all parties need to take responsibility for being careful. That means that it shouldn't be up to the person with herpes only. I am for disclosure because I think it has benefits for the soul. I could probably live with not disclosing, which I haven't done, but then I think it wouldn't be consistent with what I'm doing, and I can't really see a reason to not disclose. At the same time, there are many reasons to disclose- legal, ethical, as the sticks, and the carrots I mentioned are above in this thread.