PositivelyBeautiful

Couldn't agree more @caterpillarmonarch! Most of the time when someone walks away, it has nothing to do with us. It's not easy to understand sometimes, especially if you feel a connection, but if someone really likes you, and is genuinely interested in you, it shows. If someone let's you go, it's probably for the best... so let them go.

I haven't experienced any of that... but everyone reacts differently to medications, so it's possible. It could also be a psychological barrier... the mind is very powerful, so if you are nervous and scared, that could play a role. Might want to consider trying a different antiviral to see if that helps? And maybe use lubricant until you start feeling more comfortable about everything. I'll quote what someone recently said to me: "Don't let herpes rob you of your sexuality"... do you what you need to do to get your sexy-self back!

Thanks for taking the time to share your positive outlook, even through these dreaded physical symptoms. I am a huge believer than when your mind is in a good place, it gives your body every opportunity to heal itself. I know it's not easy to stay positive when there is pain and discomfort involved, but that's the time when we need it most. I love this part "i can sill walk and dance and work and more importantly, be myself" - that's a most amazing perspective... good on you! Hope you get through this one quickly, and carry on sharing your love and light, outbreak or no outbreak. :)

@kt41, did you have any sores or other physical symptoms? or was it just a random blood test? If so, you need to know the specifics... 0.2 without symptoms is generally not considered positive (unless as she suggests, you have had a recent exposure). Assuming it was an IGG test and the value you mention is just for HSV2, that is a very low antibody level. Anything above 1.1 is normally positive and anywhere between 1.1 and 3.5 has a 40% chance of false positive... you need more information. It is possible that you did just acquire this, but i don't know why they would suspect that if you didn't have any symptoms. You can do another test in a few weeks to see if that number climbs, and know it generally takes about 4 months for antibodies to fully develop.

Hi @chikitta13, sounds like you are doing everything right... but sometimes it's other things than herpes that has our immune system or body run down... possibly your body fighting another virus at the same time (common cold), and emotional stress? It's kinda hard to say... Also, perhaps keep finding ways to relax your mind and body. Have you tried any form of meditation or yoga? Sometimes just taking 15-20 mins out of your day to shut your mind off is good for your body too. Also, could be a potential food allergy? Sometimes allergies come on later in life and have the potential to wreak havoc on body.... eating anything out of the norm lately, or notice feeling tired after certain meals/drinks? Maybe just try to be aware of any reactions... I know it's hard, but perhaps you'll notice something. Anyways, there could be numerous reasons... just trying to help you find answers.

Hi @newname, welcome to the forum... it's hard to say for sure that what you are experiencing is with 100% certainty herpes, but sores seem likely. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling emotionally and physically, but I would encourage you to talk to someone close about it. I know it's only been 3 months with your boyfriend and the conversation will be difficult, but opening up about it and sharing your pain might be beneficial to you both. Perhaps just mention that you haven't been 'right' down there and have made an appointment to see a doctor? It could be a lead-in to a conversation about STD testing, and if he's ever noticed anything, etc. Don't blame or assume blame though, because herpes is sneaky... 80% of people with genital herpes don't even know they have it... also, does your bf get cold sores? Because it could be HSV1 genital... a lot of people don't realize that they can pass on HSV1 during oral sex. You might have to have this conversation anyways after your doctor's appointment, so why not let him in a little and tell him what's going on. If not him, perhaps a very close friend that you trust? You should not have to endure this alone... all of us here have been through that very initial diagnosis stage, and it's not easy... and having support will be very helpful. We are all here for you, so reach out if you have any questions or need any help at all. Concerning the physical pain, you can start taking lysine and vitamin C to help your body fight it, and various topical treatments listed on the forum might be helpful too. Hang in there and reach out any time.

Hi @Kt41, first of all, I just want to start off by saying that herpes does not discriminate... Anyone, at any age, even with protection or not, is at risk of getting this virus if they are sexually active. This doesn't make you dirty or wrong in any way, it makes you human. Our bodies are susceptible to catching all kinds of viruses, just like the common cold, and it's just the luck of the draw really as to who gets it and who doesn't. I think MMissouri is right... the first step in this journey is acceptance... accept that you have this skin condition, and that it is not going away. Next forgive yourself for the choices you made that led you here... we all go through hard times and make irresponsible choices, but this is all part of growing and learning and becoming better. You can't take those decisions back, and you can't wish the outcome would have been different either... it's wasted energy, because what's done is done, so where's the silver lining? Consider the fact that this is just herpes, an annoying skin condition. Consider the people that get diagnosed with HIV, that become paralyzed, that are fighting stage 4 cancer, or that go blind. There far worse thing in life than herpes, so appreciate the fact that you are still able to experience life in all its fullness. Besides some occasional physical symptoms and uncomfortable talks, your life will not change. Most of all, you have not changed. Remember that always. Nothing about you and what you have to offer has changed... Believe your bf when he says that he fell in love with your mind and heart, because that's the truth. Everything that makes you uniquely special is still firmly in tact. And, herpes will also help you weed out the negative people in your life as you move through your journey. Because it's such an intimate thing to share with people, it will help you slow down and get to know people before you open up to them or decide you want to pursue things physically. Ultimately, everyone who gets herpes reaches a cross-roads... and you have two choices... one where you allow yourself to feed into negative, self-defeating thoughts and emotions, and one where you decide that the society's narrow-minded stigma cannot dictate your worth, and every moment you choose to love yourself, to tell yourself you are special and worthy, and that you deserve love and happiness. It will empower you tremendously to take the positive approach towards self-love. It won't be easy, especially at the beginning, but reach out to support groups, come on here, see a therapist if you need to, but act always in self-love and commit to your emotional well-being above everything else. One day at a time, you will get there, and herpes will just be a small blip on your most amazing journey. You and everyone else in this world, regardless of what they have lived through or are struggling through, deserves love; but it starts with you. Consider even changing your vocabulary from "i have to live with my mistakes" to "i have to embrace these lessons and grow stronger"... cause that's what any adversity in life will be about... growing stronger. Here are a few quotes for you: "Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be." "The human ability to survive and flourish is driven by the struggle of the human spirit through conflict into transformation." "If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully lived life, we can't equate defeat with being unworthy of love, life and joy." Stay strong, stay positive, we are all here for you.

Hi, that's exactly what antihistamines are - anti-allergy pills, although different brands use different medications. You can give it a shot and see if it helps any. Hope you find some answers/aid, but enjoy Japan!!!

Hey there, so just in briefly scanning you last post, and seeing your results, it doesn't sound like HSV2, but you were never tested for HSV1, right? that could still be a possibly, as many people get HSV1 genitally. However, until you confirm with more tests, I think it might be wise to ease up on the alcohol. That actually might cause more irritation and would also make your skin very dry and chapped, as you say is occurring. Give it a few days rest with the alcohol and see if that helps any. Over cleaning/medicating can have adverse effects... so all in moderation. Not sure which country you are in now, but perhaps consider getting a second opinion? It could be something entirely different than herpes... maybe an allergic reaction or some other skin condition. Skin conditions tend to resemble one another sometimes, so it's hard to diagnose without further medical examination/testing. Wonder if it would be worth trying some antihistamine to see if that helps any... if it's an allergic reaction to something, it could help.

Thanks ladies, much appreciated. Feeling a bit more grounded in my gut feeling this morning. I'll keep you all posted as this develops... to be continued.

Thanks for the supportive words of wisdom @fitgirl... I am not sure what I intend to do right now. The letter idea does appeal to me because it would not be the first time that I use written words to communicate something deeply important to me, but I think in this case, I may want him to see my vulnerability. I'm just really not sure if now is the right time... I know he would not come here expecting sex; he confessed to me that he once made a girl wait 4 months before having sex with her because he too wanted to put love before sex. He gets that part (and jokingly said this is karma...lol) ... but it's the natural progression of kissing to foreplay that concerns me... I don't want him to touch me down there until he knows... and there's only so much hand swatting that I can do... especially considering we are both very attracted to one another (not just physically, I might add). On the flip side, I know it's likely better to know if he's not prepared to accept this now, than get more invested. My gut is telling me I need more time to get know him better, but I feel conflicted with everything else that plays into this scenario. This is tough one. Concerning the rejection... if it does happen, I know I'll bounce back. It's the putting my heart on the line thing that scares me... being that 'naked' if you will... but I know there is also opportunity in being vulnerable and that tremendous growth, regardless of the outcome, will come from facing this fear. Lastly, I don't know if I will be able to be so matter-of-fact about this since it's my first time, but I will try my best. Thank you though for your guidance, and I will definitely keep you posted!

An interesting perspective on emotional health... definitely worth a watch!

Hey everyone, I've been missing in action lately (my apologies) only because I have been caught up in the start of something amazing... I did not see this man coming, but in the last week, we have become entangled with one another... problem is, he doesn't live here. I live in a vacation destination, and he was here, visiting with family... good old tinder was the means that ignited a first date, and then we spent the rest of the week wanting to see each other at every opportunity we had. I made it clear to him that I wanted to take the physical side of things slowly, and he was respectful... but the chemistry is there. I know he really likes me, that his intentions are honest and sincere, and that he wants to pursue something... ready to book a flight and come back to spend more time with me. So, here I am... I know I should probably tell him before he comes again, before he books his flight, but if I had a choice, I would want to wait and get to know him better, and let him get to know me... I just don't feel like I have that choice; like it wouldn't be fair to wait if this is going to be a deal-breaker for him. I also would prefer to tell him in person... especially considering this is my first real disclosure, but I am torn with the pros and cons of this situation. I guess, I would like to hear what you guys think... should I bite the bullet and tell over him skype? I could also tell him there is something that I need to discuss with him and that it might be a deal-breaker, and that I would prefer to tell him in person... that way he has a choice to come, knowing a potential consequence is looming. It would also allow him to ask to know in advance... perhaps let him make the call on how I disclose. I am scared, definitely scared, but realize that whatever is meant to happen will happen. Any advice/support would be appreciated.

@ShaeShae, so happy for you!!! Loved reading your success this morning!

Loooove this @ele3, thank you for sharing!!

Thank you for posting this!! Congrats and enjoy every minute! :)

Hi Hurt_Again, dealing with the physical and emotional aftermath of this all at once is difficult, and we have all been there to a certain extent, so you are not alone. When I was first diagnosed, I was seeing someone and he had the same reaction. We spoke once and I didn't hear from him again. He was kind in his response, but disappeared following my immediate disclosure... that reaction was actually harder to deal with than the diagnosis itself. But ultimately, what I had learned after was that he gave me the opportunity to find love for myself, in the most deep and self-sufficient of ways... I was empty and alone, and although I had confided in some close friends who were very supportive, it was up to me to work through the pain, and find love for myself. I did, because I chose every single day to not let herpes define who I was and am. Please understand one thing - nobody has the right to validate your worth... only you do that. On both sides of the coin, you have the ability to either put yourself down, and beat yourself up, or choose to love yourself regardless instead. Every single moment, you have the choice to alter those self-defeating thoughts and focus on the things that make you beautiful and special. Herpes doesn't change anything about you, or what you have to offer someone... and when you realize that, it will only get better. It's not easy, but every thought counts... so take this opportunity to get stronger through self-love. Feed your soul with positive affirmations, and kindness. You deserve to love and be loved, everyone does. Also, remember that herpes can happen to anyone, you alone are NOT a bad/nasty person because you contracted it... we are all human, and our bodies are all susceptible to catching viruses. It can and does happen to all kinds of people, under various circumstances. And finally, someone will love you, someone will understand all of this, and see how amazing you are, and accept you fully. But it starts with you... choose to love yourself, and do not allow the thoughts and actions of others to tell you that you are less than the beautiful person you truly know yourself to be. You have all the power and love inside of you to heal and become stronger, work toward that every day... And in your moment's of weakness, come here. We'll help remind you that you are loving and deserving and that you are never alone.

Sorry yes, I made an assumption that the numbers were only for HSV2 and were from IGG. To be sure, ask your doctor for full details as dancer and mmissouri are right, there are other variables to consider here.

Heya, normally the outbreaks will happen in the same places... but it's possible you contracted it in two places and it's just coming out in one or the other area on occasion. I suspect if you're immune system is really weakened, then you would likely be able to have an outbreak in both locations. But it shouldn't randomly move around. There's also a period where you could have spread it (very initial phase of contracting the virus), but again, outbreaks shouldn't just randomly appear in different locations.

He should get tested, depending on how long guys have been together, this doesn't mean anything. And no one is blame here regardless, lots of people don't have symptoms or they are so mild that they wouldn't know. Again, 80% of people with genital herpes don't know they have it... don't try to point any fingers. Just find out his status and go from there. Hopefully you guy both commit to working through this, especially if you really love each other. At the end of the day, this is just an inconvenient skin condition, and if you don't have symptoms, then you guys should consider yourselves very lucky. Hang in there, you'll be just fine, no matter what.

Ummm, no, that's a very high result which indicates you have had this for a long time. Even if you had very few partners, even if you always used protection, you can still get genital herpes. Herpes does not discriminate... anyone can get it, at any time.

A visual exam alone is NOT enough to say whether or not he has had herpes. He should definitely do a blood test to find out for sure. I've never had any typical symptoms, and so if I had never had a blood test, I would have never known. If you are staying together, you should definitely ask him to get tested. Also, did you get antibody levels or numbers to go along with your results? This could help you identify if it was a recent infection or if you've had it for some time. Unfortunately herpes is very tricky, and sometimes there's no way of knowing when or from who you could have contracted it... Tell him to come to this site and read up on it too. There are people who are married for years and never have an outbreak until well into their marriage, while being faithful all the while. He needs to get educated.

Hey, I don't know if I am the right person to answer this question, and some others might pipe up... but I believe that during an active outbreak, viral shedding would be everywhere in the genital region. 'I think' when there is no outbreak, then it's minimized but still possible anywhere in the genital area again, but most likely where outbreaks typically occur. I don't know if there is a clear-cut distinction otherwise... I think there is a lot of assumption and variances since everyone's body will respond differently. But again, consider the risk, no matter what, even if you were rubbing up all over it, is very very low.

Hi lebunny, and welcome!! Joining this forum is a saving grace for a lot of people, because we are all in it together. If ever you need it, there are plenty of loving and compassionate people on here who will support you and help remind you that you are defined by this virus, but merely have to deal with it on occasion. So, just to start off - cold sores are herpes... typically HSV1, also known as oral herpes, so if you're boyfriend gets cold sore, he has herpes too. HSV 2 is known as genital herpes. While HSV2 rarely ever spreads to the mouth/oral area, HSV1 can definitely spread down below to the genital, that's why 50% of new genital herpes cases are HSV1. So, if you guys have cold sores, you have to be very careful to not have oral sex during an outbreak. Did you find out what type of herpes you have? Type 1 or 2? 80% of people get cold sores or HSV1, and 20% have HSV2, but 80% of those people don't even know it because either the symptoms are so minimal or non-existent. As you read more on this forum, you'll learn a lot more about the virus and how to handle it. You are not disgusting, so don't feed into that narrow-minded stigma... you are human, you caught a virus, just like people catch the common cold all the time. Don't allow this to deplete your self-worth, nothing about you has changed in any way!!

Hmmm... I mean, anything is possible.. everyone has different reactions to medications. It could be induced by the meds, as some sort of skin rash, but acne is also caused by so many other factors including hormones, stress, and food to name a few. Maybe see how your body reacts when you come off the meds... unfortunately, it might be a bit of trial and error until you know for sure if the meds have anything to do with it.