2Legit2Quit

If I may be blunt. I think it's time you tell him to shit or get off the pot. Remember, we often fall in love w the potential of a man and start thinking that potential is reality. It is in my personal opinion of course, that a situation like this is as follows: He's looking to make sure something better doesn't come around, that doesn't carry this little hitchhiker. He's keeping you happy in every other way, aside from commitment, while he keeps his options open. He doesn't want you to stray too far, in case he finds the grass isn't greener on the other side; hence why he does what he does for you. . If you were worth the risk as he says, his actions would have followed accordingly. He could withhold from sex and not date if that were the case. .. The reason I understand this, is because I was in his shoes w my ex husband. 1. I took over 3 months until I committed, because I wanted to make sure there wasn't something better out there. I didn't even know of his status at that point and we not had sex. 2. Although I wasn't sure about him yet, I wasn't actively dating anyone else and I didn't have a profile up. I already caught feelings,bbut wasn't sure. 3. 3 months in, I had us get tested and that's when I learned of his status. 4. I didn't have sex w him until after we married. I never looked for anyone else or dated anyone else, because I was in, even though I was scared. You've been patient enough and it's not fair to your heart and you gotta protect yourself as well. My advice is to give him and ultimatum basically. That you understood his hesitance surrounding this and you respected the time he needed to think things through, but he's dating while you're not and you gotta protect yourself. So I think it's best we part ways, as I believe this may be too much for you to handle. Hugs and good luck!

Thanks so much for sharing! We can never get enough successful disclosure stories for newbies to read! Good for you for always being up front, even in casual encounters. Says a lot about your character!

You'll come around eventually, don't worry.

I didn't feel like I had a uti on my recurrents, but everyone is different. My recurrents have only ever been a bump or a couple, redness and itching or something... Starr soaking in Epsom salt baths as much as possible and as long as possible and spray w bactine.

I'm just jealous that you've managed to be asymptomatic for both viruses. Lol

Well, you at negative for HSV 1 and positive for HSV 2./ your value is greater than 6... IgM not showing any positive value, because those only come up w new infections or recurrents; nor are they worth any value in what they tell you. So it sounds like an established infection.

You can have the baths whatever way you like, but it's going to take a lot longer for salt to dissolve into in cold water. As long as you do the other things I say, you will still work on drying and killing the virus. You gotta way the pros and cons, be in pain or worry it coukd prolong it a tad? It's never prolonged it for me. You didn't say if you're getting a script of antivirals?

You can just say you decided to take the meds and leave it at that, no more discussion needs to be had. Aa far as when you experience symptoms, state you think you may have symptoms and want to era on the side of caution and want to wait it out. Or you can just not say anything and make the night all about him, a game out if him not being able to touch you and then you finish him in other ways.

@flguy , I have taken muscle relaxers and it has never triggered an OB for me. 1. Sounds like swelling is going on, do you have any antivirals to pop, so this can go down? Is there a possibility for itto close up? Yes, but not as likely since it's not your primary. Start taking Epsom salt baths ASAP w lots of salt and spray Bactine on the area. Numbs, fires itans disinfects. 2. After baths and spraying w baxtineand giving it time to dry, you can apply Vaseline on it, to stop from rubbing, but you'd need to keep applying it. 3. Everyone is different. Have you never had an OB before, is this your primary or a recurrent? 4. Go to planned parenthood and get on meds, since it's not clearing up.

@wcadancer2010 is right about it taking longer to get past it, if you already have underlying esteem issues. I did and it made me struggle a lot longer w it. Helping other's on here makes a huge difference for getting past it as well, as I can attest to it. For me it desensitized me to herpes, because it became such a daily conversation w me. Plus, I have made some pretty cool friends on here. I have more friend's post herpes, than I did pre herpes! I even went white water rafting w someone I met on the forum and we've remained great friend's still! There definitely is an opportunity under these circumstances, if you're willing to look for it. Hugs! Hun. He doesn't need to have an OB to spread it to you. There's something called asymptomatic shedding and is actually when the majority of people catch it. So it's unlikely that you caught it when he had the OB, until November. He must have been shedding when you got it.

Yeah, I agree.. I just think it's ignorance on the docs part. From being on a UK forum a long time e ago, the docs seemed even more clueless about H overseas, than here. It was quite strange.

No, it's not an antidepressant. . did you read or listen to that one link by doctor Chris Kessler? He braks it done Barney style on how the drug works and how it boosts your immune system and blocks inflammation, even lain caused by inflammation. I have the flu right now and had a 102 temp yesterday. Because of the LDN, I don't even feel that sick, it's crazy. I also thought I'd have obs not being on meds and now dealing w the flu and nope.... I'm just shocked. For me, this drug is a miracle drug. If anything, you may lose weight on it, because by it blocking out opiate receptors, which things like sugar and carbs seem to stimulate the opiate release adding to cravings of food; this blocks it; your body makes up for it by producing 300% more endorphins, which eliminates cravings. I'm much more able to control my food of choice on it. I even did a fast on it and felt euphoric and energized. It was crazy. This is not an antidepressant. It just helps w mood, because of the endorphins. It's an opiate antagonist. You really need to listen or read the interview.

Well neuropathy would be the the chronic burning... Things like pins and needles, a cold feeling in a spot, tingling, crawling sensations, tickling situations, etc are what's called paresthesia. Some get this and some don't. Some of us just have an immune system that gets a little crazy when it senses an infected sensory neuron and gets over zealous w trying to attack it and ends up causing some damage to the sheathing on the sensory neurons. That's when we tend to feel a lot of strange sensations down there, especially after our primary.

Just be patient and kind w yourself. It's normal to go through the process of all these emotions and they won't stick around. Trust me.

I know it's not an easy conversation to have w you estranged husband, because nobody wants to think of thwir partner being sexually active w soneone else, but it's very likely your husband wasn't alone in being intimate w someone else during this seperation. It may help to explain that you were w someone and you'd like to wait until you can be tested, to ensure that all is clear, because you respect him and his health. That it's just a precaution you're taking, because his well being is of the utmost importance to you. I know it won't be easy to share you've been w soneone else, but you both are adults and he should be able to be realistic and objective about that fact.

You should try the runners glide as well.

Have you never had a cold sore before? Is there a minute risk? Possibly, but it's very small.

I know honey... We all think and feel the EXACT same way. I couldn't even talk to someone and get lost in good conversation w out hearing that little voice "you have herpes. You have herpes". This is not going to stay like this. It's even more exacerbated, when you're still in the throes of pain from your primary. Just hang in there.. I barely think about it anymore and don't really care either at this point and I'm a yr n half in. You will get there. Be kind and be patient w yourself. One day you're going to look back and giggle at YOURSELF, just like I did w how freaked out we were and acted like we thought our lives were over. Hugs!

@this_sucks are you using condoms w latex? I learned the hard way in my early 20s that my vagina didn't like latex. When I started using that stuff that's better than latex, I stopped getting infections. So why do you think you keep drawing in these typr of guys? I think m you have the right idea. Learning to enjoy and live up bring single. It can be just as awesome as being in a relationship.

Oh OK... You weren't very clear in your post who it was, so I was confused. Sorry about that. Lot's of people say things, until they have feelings for someone. I said I wouldn't be w soneone w something and then I married someone w something. People say things things all the time. Whoooooaaaq @thumper things need to cool off here. @bambina3 was simply trying to offer you some support and you're lashing out on her. I know you are angry right now, but taking it out on others who are trying to be your support, isn't the right way to go about it. Have you ever reread your posts after you post them? They're actually kinda hard to understand, so that may be why people aren't responding accordingly. She also is going off your other posts on the perspective she is coming from. @adrial @wcsdancer2010

How soon are you disclosing to these guys?

I had severe neuropathy on my primary, so much so, I had to get on anticonvulsants to control the nerve pain. It eventually went away, but a tenderness lingered for a long time. I gave HSV 2, but there's others on here w HSV 1 who have had the nerve pain as well. Some people are just different. I know this is super scary right now, but just know you will be fine. Things are going to calm down soon and it's not going to be like this for your recurrents. None of mine have been painful since my primary. Hang in there and hugs!

Omg that's awesome! Did you provide her the links? That's a good sign cause if she researches it, she'll see that it's not harmful in the least and is very beneficial for many reasons. Do you have anxiety or depression by chance? Because this really has lifted my mood and has that effect on those who need it.

Wow... That makes me really sad to read. I am so sorry .. Nobody deserves to be treated as such. It sounds like you're just finding guys who want one thing from you and true intimacy is not it. May I ask a few questions to get some better understanding into what's going on? What's your age? What's the timeline you're disclosing to men? Are you making it clear that you're looking for a relationship?

Hey all, many have asked if they could donate to the site and here are links to that. @adrial pays for this amazing site all on his own, so donating any support to keep it running, would be greatly appreciated! $5/mo: http://bit.ly/1Qmi2nN $10/mo: http://bit.ly/21xZlVi $20/mo: http://bit.ly/21o7wXB