WCSDancer2010

It's unlikely you will get it from a thick skinned area unless you have an active lesion there. Pubic hair area is another matter - again, *less* likely but a lot of people get the virus there after shaving so they are likely to have small OB's there that look like ingrown hairs so while it's less likely you will shed there, if the person doesn't know they have H they could assume they have a shaving rash or whatever and not know they are shedding

No antivirals ... and just because you are shedding doesn't mean you will transmit - a lot depends on the other person's immune system, where you are shedding (ie, whether the person comes in contact with that area), and how much viral load you happen to be shedding. If the person doesn't get "enough" of a dose then their body can usually kill it off before it establishes.

as @2legit2quit said, testing at 2 months is FAR too early and you CANNOT get Herpes from a toilet seat. And electric shocks all over the body could be MANY different things. re-test in April and if you are still not getting a conclusive result, do the Western Blot test as @Adrial mentioned....

Well in the absence of verifiable symptoms (ie, the typical Herpatic blisters/"papercut" sores) if the result is under 3.5, then you may have a false positive.... so come back here with your results. Have they looked into the possibility of you being either allergic to the the condoms/lubes/or even the BF's fluids? Also, douching can throw your system off. I'd stop them, and start taking a probiotic ... if you are getting yeast infections that easily it means your system is out of balance. There's a ton of things that can be causing yeast type issues.... this link may help you to start looking at other causes, including Leaky Gut and diet issues: http://www.nationalcandidacenter.com/Vaginal-Yeast-Infection-s/1832.htm

@onedayatatime22 Well, just a few thoughts. 1) What kind of "friend" is she? If she's already judgemental, or liable to make choices based on minimal information, then I'm nut surprised at her answer. AND... *this is important* ... YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE DATING HER! So who cares about her opinion? She's just going to deprive herself of 16-20% of the dating population, and that's *IF* she always asks to see the other person's test results (I'll bet she doesn't even bring up the STD talk before she gets freaky...LOL). 2) Go read all the Success Stories that you can. You will see that a lot of our readers have not only found love with a H- person, they have found DEEPER love than they ever had, because the person they met is so into THEM, they don't care about the risks (that, and they are usually a lot more informed or willing to become informed than your friend!). I suggest you send this link to your friend..... she may become a Nun after she reads it though....LOL (((HUGS))) http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/

@Bambina3 I actually already did the blood work I just have 2 wait 2 weeks to get my results unfortunately but I am hoping I am negative for HSV 2 cuz I already know I have HSV 1 but idk if its spread genitally If you already have HSV1, it's unlikely (but not impossible) that you got it genitally because you already have the antibodies to the virus. So why did you get tested? And the reason it takes 4 months is that you need to build up the antibodies in order to have enough to show in a culture. But swabs give faster results if you happen to have an active outbreak....

Well, that's been written by the person who is working on the test.... and a study with only 45 or so participants is not at all conclusive. It's going to take a lot more testing to get this to a point where it can be accepted as a legit test. I'll have to go back and re-read it, but I didn't get how he's so sure that the inconclusives were mostly all negative after his test. Still, one can hope that this may be a more reliable test in the end as that's one of the reasons some Dr's won't test.... because if those "inconclusives" and false positive results.....

At the same time I do agree with all that has been mentioned. I recently started working at a drs office. Young guy ask to be blood tested for stds. I look at the lab sheet dr filled out. Only hiv was checked. Granted I don't know all the abbreviations, etc but hsv 1&2 would smack me in the eyes. This dr is an internal medicine dr. So this discussion can go round and round. Morally vs non morally, right or wrong. Have you thought about talking to the Dr and giving him our info and seeing if you can get him to do the whole STD panel in the future? I'd say this is a opportunity for you to help to make a big change in that practice :)

So tell me this: If it was the other way around, and the person who gave it to you KNEW they had H, wouldn't you have wanted them to tell you first so you had a CHOICE about whether you continue with them or not? Because here we believe that given that *WE* know the risks, and we know our status, *more* of the burden is put on us to make sure we have the WHOLE STD discussion (this shouldn't be just about Herpes.... you need to protect yourself too.... odds are many if not most of us here might not have H if we had had that discussion before sex. Not that we wouldn't have had sex with the person anyway, but we would have practiced a lot more caution :) Thanks. I know and I have disclosed..even bought the lifestyle guide on having the talk! This guy even admitted he gets cold sores, but in his nose. He wasn't willing to wear a condom because he's selfish (his words) and too paranoid to contract something from me.(his words) I just think I played the whole thing wrong. Can you even change the guy's mind afterward and get him to see you again? Honey, that right there was Mr Herpes being your Wingman. You just dodged a huge-assed bullet, actually, more like a Mortar, with that guy! He wasn't into YOU.... he just wanted to GET INTO you! And when his selfish ass got bored, he would have moved on. Why the hell would you want to "change his mind"? He TOLD you he's selfish!!! When a guy is straight with you like that, LISTEN to him!!!! And odds are if he's not willing to wear a condom (for his selfish ass) then odds are he's carrying *something* ... if not HSV, then HPV, Chlamydia, or something worse. I have 3 words for you friend: RUN FOREST RUN! LOL I do hope you will reconsider your comment to not disclose in the future, for several reasons: 1) It's the right thing to do. Period. Sure, the other person should ask your status but ignorance is bliss and none of us here are ignorant about the reality of STD's any more. H made sure we had the wake up call on that one. 2) Starting a relationship with HONESTY. Sure, you don't have to tell them you have H until you are going to have sex. But that's a GOOD thing because it kinda forces us to slow down and get to KNOW the person a bit better, see who they are, and make them EARN the right to our disclosure. 3) Finding better partners. We are back to the Wingman again - even for casual sex, H will help you to have discussions that may save YOU from becoming involved with someone who is not in the "relationship" (whatever level it's at) for the right reasons. 4) Creating DEEPER relationships. H can open the door to conversations that bring you close which allows, or even forces you to be vulnerable that can bring you and your partner to a whole new level of closeness. So - yes, you are hurting right now, and that's ok. But when you have had time to get over El Jerko, come back and look at this again... and in the meantime, read all you can on the Success Story category. And read the links below... because there's a lot to be gleaned in each one. :) (((HUGS))) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5897/my-first-disclosure-story#latest Wingman example http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 ) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/rejection_its-all-about-perspective/ (my blog) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4699/first-real-disclosure-first-real-rejection

@Tanner86 Hello and Welcome! Honey, there's NO reason to not have what you want, and more! Honestly, if anything, you can use this as *wait for it* an OPPORTUNITY to start to pick better partners. Herpes makes a GREAt Wingman... as you already learned from Guy #1 who turned out to be a jerk. That wasn't a rejection.... it was your buddy Herpes showing you that the guy isn't relationship material.... his behavior was totally off base (he's soooo wrong about having kids... I have 2 and a Grandchild, and I have both types of H for over 35 yrs, and I've never transmitted to any of them). Given that it sounds like you had already had sex, and he's putting his head in the sand and *think he doesn't have it*, shows that he is unwilling to take responsibility for his own sexual health (and that of his future partners)....so really.... why would you want to be with a jerk like that anyway? As for finding someone to spend time with, why the hell can't you do that? Just read all the Success Stories that you can and you will see that, if anything, people find deeper, more meaningful relationships with Herpes because they vet the person longer before they jump in and have sex....and when they disclose, your trusty Wingman will show you whether the guy is into YOU, or whether he want's to GET INTO you. (Guy #1 was in the latter category!). I had a 20 yr marriage in spite of passing it onto my hubby early on (it was the 80's and I didn't know what that weird rash was till after he was diagnosed) and I've since had a few long term relationships with H- guys who didn't care about my status....because they were into ME. Check out these links ... maybe they will help you to see that you are selling yourself short here :) And BTW, what was the values on your test results? You sound like you *might* have had an OB but if you have a really low number I'd suggest you follow up with a Western Blot just to confirm the diagnosis. (((HUGS))) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5897/my-first-disclosure-story#latest Wingman example http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 ) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/rejection_its-all-about-perspective/ (my blog) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4699/first-real-disclosure-first-real-rejection Herpes as a relationship filter Adrial

So: you have HSV1 oral and HSV2 genital? So do I. I'm 54 and I've had several relationships with H- men. The only one who got it from me is my ex-hubby ... because at that point I didn't know what my "rash" was... H info in the early 80's wasn't that great but we remained married for 20 yrs and divorced amicably over due to growing in different directions. I suggest you do 3 things: 1) Print out the handouts on here and give them to him so you know he's got some good information. 2) Try to get him to go to your OBGYN or Planned Parenthood with you, and have them explain the facts to him. 3) Once you have done what you can to educate him, LET IT GO. He's a grown assed man and he has to make grown assed choices about what risks in life that he's willing to take. If he chooses you KNOWING the facts, then your only job is to take great care of your body so you have fewer OB's and your body can remain strong and keep the virus suppressed. Think of it this way... **I assume you drive a car **and I assume if that is correct, you may occasionally drive your lover/BF somewhere **And you BOTH know there is ALWAYS a risk of a car accident no matter how careful you are **But you drive him anyway, right? Do you obsess day and night that you might injure/kill him every time he gets in your car? I doubt it. **Why is the possibility of passing on H any different? At least it won't kill him!!! Think on it :) (((HUGS)))

If you go off Valtrex cold turkey then your body needs time to take over the full responsibility for controlling the virus...so for right now you want to be extra cautious... but over time it should settle down. So you have Hsv1 oral and HSV2 genital? These are the rates that the different strains shed in the different areas: Here are the %s of the time herpes silently sheds the virus based on the HSV type and location (not to be confused with transmission rates). HSV-2 genital 15-30% HSV-1 genital 3-5% HSV-1 oral 9-18% HSV-2 oral 1% So the risk of spreading it orally is a bit lower than spreading it genitally when you are not having an OB. The main thing is to just be vigilant and find other ways to play if you have any feeling that you may be having an OB coming on.

@Tiredofbeingashamed Hello and Welcome! I am going to paste my reply to someone else on here simply because I want to say the exact same things to you that I said to her, except that she has a supportive BF .... but she is still depriving herself of the joy and love that she deserves (because she no longer feels sexy or deserving of love). But before I do that, I want to say one thing: Don't ever, EVER stay in a relationship with someone who is not deserving of your love, who doesn't bring you happiness, or who abuses you in any way. Being single is FAR preferable to being in a bad relationship. Read this link... it says it all :) http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes So - here's what I said to @Roro7 Aww honey - I wish I could come over there and give you a (((HUG))). So, first of all, this is somewhat normal. You are allowing yourself to buy into the stigma and the shame that our society puts on STD's... even though pretty much everyone that is at all sexually active will likely get *AT LEAST* one, if nor more, STD's in their life. You can thank our Puritanical Forefathers for that one... :( I'm going to put a link to some Brene Brown TED talks about Shame. One of the things she says about Shame is: If we can quiet it (shame) down and walk in and say "I'm going to do this" we look up and the critic that we see pointing and laughing 99% of the time is who? US! .... Shame drives two big tapes... "Never good enough" ... and if you can talk it out of that one .. "Who do you think you are?" BUT: If you put shame in a petri dish it needs 3 things to grow exponentially - secrecy, silence, and judgement. If you put the same amount of shame into a petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive. So - perhaps you can either journal or talk to someone (us here, or a friend you can trust) about *WHY* you should be feeling shame. What is it, either in your culture, religion, or personal beliefs, that would allow this to set off this trigger that has sent you into such a sad place. Then ask yourself, "Is this true? If this was my friend talking to me, what would I say to them? Would I still love them just as much?" ... Then talk to yourself, as you would a friend. Allow yourself to feel the empathy you would feel for that friend. AND, allow yourself to *accept* that empathy from yourself. That's a good place to start. Our trusty Forum owner, Mr HOpp Adrial, has created a number of Lifestyle Guides to help people through this time. https://herpesopportunity.com/lifestyle-guides.html I think Guide #1, Self Care and Self Image might help you. It shows you how to not only feel better about yourself and your future, but how to shift into a empowered and realistic mindset. Adrial has given me permission to give out codes for the guides to anyone who is struggling with an area that they cover. Use P25 is for 25% off the single guide. Or you can use P50 is for 50% off their entire order. They just put it in on the "coupon code" box in the shopping cart. These guides are genius and designed to help people through the Herpes journey. DO remember - 80% of people have Oral Herpes and at least 16% have Genital Herpes ... in fact, in single women in MY age group (over 50) that number is over 50%. So one other thing you can do: Look at everyone around you this week. Try to guess which ones have which kind of Herpes. Do they look like liars to you? Do they look any less beautiful or smart to you? Try to grasp the reality that odds are most of those people have had or will have a STD at some point in their life. All the women you know who have had Cervical Dysplasia? Most would have been caused by HPV. The CDC says pretty much everyone who is sexually active will get HPV in their lifetime. So really, we are ALL in the same boat. Our society just doesn't talk about it. And as you will see in the Brene Brown video - that silence is what feeds the stigma... :( Shame

@Roro7 Aww honey - I wish I could come over there and give you a (((HUG))). So, first of all, this is somewhat normal. You are allowing yourself to buy into the stigma and the shame that our society puts on STD's... even though pretty much everyone that is at all sexually active will likely get *AT LEAST* one, if nor more, STD's in their life. You can thank our Puritanical Forefathers for that one... :( I'm going to put a link to some Brene Brown TED talks about Shame. One of the things she says about Shame is: If we can quiet it (shame) down and walk in and say "I'm going to do this" we look up and the critic that we see pointing and laughing 99% of the time is who? US! .... Shame drives two big tapes... "Never good enough" ... and if you can talk it out of that one .. "Who do you think you are?" BUT: If you put shame in a petri dish it needs 3 things to grow exponentially - secrecy, silence, and judgement. If you put the same amount of shame into a petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive. So - perhaps you can either journal or talk to someone (us here, or a friend you can trust) about *WHY* you should be feeling shame. What is it, either in your culture, religion, or personal beliefs, that would allow this to set off this trigger that has sent you into such a sad place. Then ask yourself, "Is this true? If this was my friend talking to me, what would I say to them? Would I still love them just as much?" ... Then talk to yourself, as you would a friend. Allow yourself to feel the empathy you would feel for that friend. AND, allow yourself to *accept* that empathy from yourself. That's a good place to start. Our trusty Forum owner, Mr HOpp Adrial, has created a number of Lifestyle Guides to help people through this time. https://herpesopportunity.com/lifestyle-guides.html I think Guide #1, Self Care and Self Image might help you. It shows you how to not only feel better about yourself and your future, but how to shift into a empowered and realistic mindset. Adrial has given me permission to give out codes for the guides to anyone who is struggling with an area that they cover. Use P25 is for 25% off the single guide. Or you can use P50 is for 50% off their entire order. They just put it in on the "coupon code" box in the shopping cart. These guides are genius and designed to help people through the Herpes journey. DO remember - 80% of people have Oral Herpes and at least 16% have Genital Herpes ... in fact, in single women in MY age group (over 50) that number is over 50%. So one other thing you can do: Look at everyone around you this week. Try to guess which ones have which kind of Herpes. Do they look like liars to you? Do they look any less beautiful or smart to you? Try to grasp the reality that odds are most of those people have had or will have a STD at some point in their life. All the women you know who have had Cervical Dysplasia? Most would have been caused by HPV. The CDC says pretty much everyone who is sexually active will get HPV in their lifetime. So really, we are ALL in the same boat. Our society just doesn't talk about it. And as you will see in the Brene Brown video - that silence is what feeds the stigma... :( Shame

Sooo - you didn't test positive for HSV2? In which case you have HSV1 on your genitals, likely obtained from oral sex. Just trying to clarify for you.... both are treated the same but it's useful to know which one you are dealing with for future relationships. As for the baby, just keep the finger covered and don't allow the baby to suck on your fingers (I'd just be cautious and not allow him/her to suck on any of your fingers given that you seem to have H Whitlow on at least one of them). Generally your baby should be safe otherwise. You are not oozing Herpes from every pore! Most kids (60%) get HSV1 orally by the time they are young adults, usually from another kid. (Remember, children are walking Petri dishes that love to share germs...LOL) I got HSV1 in infancy myself (possibly as early as 1 year from what I read in a paper I came across at my parents house). I got high fevers 2x/yr through childhood that were never diagnosed but I got the cold sores around the same time so I'm pretty sure it was that. Otherwise it's just been a nuisance for me. With today's meds (I'm 55 - they had no real info on H when I was a kid) if your child starts to have unexplainable fevers, just get her blood tested for H and if necessary they can give her meds to help her to deal with it. I have no idea where I got it, but likely it was playing with other kids, or a doting Auntie (neither of my parents had cold sores that we know of), or whatever. Keep the finger with the Whitlow covered with a bandage and you should be fine. I have HSV1 AND 2 and never passed anything to my children and I really didn't do anything special other than normal hygiene procedures to protect them. (((HUGS)))

Not sure what your question is but yes, Valtrex does slow down the shedding loads and thus reduces the chance of passing H on. I'm not a big pill popper and I only take it when I'm in a relationship but I do use them to protect my partner. Condoms only give you 50% protection... and that's because you can be shedding anywhere, and if your OB's were outside the vagina (or outside the area of condom coverage on the penis for a guy) then of course they are useless (if anything they are more protection for a guy because it at least keeps their area of contact away from the penis... for women the virus could get into the vagina anyway unless you use the Female Condom which gives you more protection). Given that you have had H for 30 yrs and not passed it on with the use of Valtrex and condoms, I'd say that this backs up the fact that the combination is pretty successful. Over that time if you were reasonably sexually active, your odds for passing it on would be reasonably high if you didn't use condoms and valtrex. :)

You can edit - scroll over the upper right side of the comment and you should see a settings type button that has a drop down with the edit feature. I tell people Herpes can hep you to have an excuse to learn other ways of playing other than straight up sex... we had a gret discussion on here about that awhile back :) http://herpeslife.com/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5807/list-the-ways-to-protect-my-partner-from-getting-herpes-hsv2

LLL Hello and Welcome! For starters, your best bet is to read all the Success Stories you can on here. There are tons of great stories of H+ finding love there. http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/ Handouts + disclosure e-book: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Herpes facts video Also, I'm going to post some info on the Rejection Response. Sometimes learning why you react a certain way helps folks to learn how to overcome this reaction. We are hard wired to want to be accepted (so the saber toothed tigers wouldn't get us - there is safety in numbers) so our instinct is to stay where we are accepted, even if it's not healthy for us. http://supporttruthanddialog.com/rejection_its-all-about-perspective/ (my blog) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4699/first-real-disclosure-first-real-rejection Rejection as your teacher….. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201307/10-surprising-facts-about-rejection

I agree, the combined test isn't recommended but your results look like you are HSV-...

That's 7-10 days after the OB heals BTW - sooner if you both have the SAME one (HSV1 or 2). If one has HSV1 and one has HSV2, then I'd still stick to the 7-10 day timeline.

Actually, I realized that is the Oxford Journal ... in the UK they don't dispense antivirals nearly as much as they do here so I'm pretty sure if they did the same study here, the numbers would be higher than 270 ... but that's just a guess....

THANK YOU for that last link. It's much needed ammo to give to Dr's to get them to test :) The median time to HSV-2 acquisition was greater among participants whose partners disclosed that they had genital herpes, compared with participants whose partners did not disclose their status (270 vs. 60 days; P=.03). That's HUGE. And to be honest, I think that the 270 could be a LOT bigger if you educate both partners about how to prevent passing it on. As for your Dr's reaction - 1) it's not up to them to teach you how to disclose.... they just diagnose. 2) As you know, H isn't a big deal to them.... compare it to Cancer, or Mental Illness, or maybe Chroans disease and the like, and H is small peanuts. That said, they need better education about the emotional impact.... something I hope to work on once my life becomes my own again. Right now my focus is on my father so my campaign plans are on hold but I'm still formulating how I want to make that happen when the time comes and I can put my energy into it.

Sorry - I'm traveling so limited internet time :) Dr's don't worry about H like the population does. To them it's a nuisance virus in an inconvenient place. They have much bigger fish to fry like Cancer and HIV and such. And GP's are generally not well versed in the most recent HSV info ... my advice is always go to the Dr that specializes in an area if you need solid answers ... GP's are GENERAL practitioners....for basic stuff, vaccines, etc. So if you have a question about your lady bits, you go to an OBGYN.... The fact that the Dr did a IGM tells me they don't know their H stuff. IgM is considered a useless test and Dr's who are up to date won't run that test. That said, given you have had cold sores, and you only came up with HSV1+ (what were your values for both BTW?) it's hard to know if you have HSV1 genitally as well - it's unusual to get it in another place if you already have it orally but not unheard of. The only thing you can *try* (If the Dr will cooperate) is to have a swab done if you think you have an OB like a "papercut" or whatever... Have you tested for BV and yeast?

Yes - that and odds are you got HSV1 as a child (60% of people with H1 got it in childhood from another kid or a doting adult that kissed them or shared a drink with an OB) - so your body has got better control of it.

I have also had 2 daughters who are now 26 and 29.... both H-. Make sure the Dr knows you have H. They will monitor you through your pregnancy. Usually they will put you on Valtrex the last month of the pregnancy to help you to not have a outbreak. If they see something suspicious, they may suggest a Cesarean.