WCSDancer2010

@2hurt2kno So glad to hear you are working through things. You are right - you can forgive, and that doesn't mean it's ok... it means you have let go of the poison attached to the anger. From that point on it's up to him to continue to show you he's learned from his mistake. I think the fact that he's in therapy too says a LOT.... Keep us posted! We're cheering you on over here that you will find closure with this and a renewed relationship with your man... (((HUGS)))

I hardly have any prodromes ... very localized itching or sensation right before an OB ... so as 2 legit said, it's different for everyone. I'm posting info below that may help you to get things under control if it's H. I suggest you keep a journal of what you are eating, activities, stressors, plus symptoms etc ... see if you can see a pattern for what makes it worse. I often say that Herpes is like a "first responder" to the health of your body ... although in the first few months, it's often just that your body needs time to figure out how to get it under control. Second - attack it from the outside ... I'm going to put a bunch of links but generally Epsom Salts baths (drop a double handful of the salts between your legs so its concentrated there), followed by thorough drying (even using a hair drier to get it really dry), maybe going commando, and using Bactine (which helps to kill the virus AND numb it thanks to the lidocaine in it) ... or my favorite, Ammonium Alum ... but there's LOTS of suggestions in the links. I find if you attack it from the outside, the inside can do it's job better :) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6024/dealing-with-outbreaks#latest includes links below http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7595/bactine-wipes-and-some-motivational-quotes http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/#more-2122 http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1624/herpes-medication-genital-hsv-1-how-to-keep-herpes-outbreaks-clean-dry#Item_22 My discussion amonium Alum) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1496/bathroom-time- http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/ http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2010/genital-ulcers.htm#hsv Links to some of the items suggested in the links http://amzn.to/1CHUzZE Link to Alum http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream http://amzn.to/1F10r3V Fractionated Coconut Oil http://bit.ly/zincsoap Zinc Soap with coconut oil http://bit.ly/Zinccream http://bit.ly/Calendula_Salve http://tinyurl.com/bactine http://amzn.to/1oUDY2n Chaga Mushroom http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose http://tinyurl.com/DMSO4HSV

@Gimmehope First - Hello and Welcome! So it sounds like you disclosed to him? In which case, HE made the decision to go down on you FULLY KNOWING the situation. At that point, it's not your fault if something goes wrong as long as you are careful to not do anything when you feel you have an outbreak. That said, if you have HSV2 (do you know which one you have?), odds a far lower that you could pass it to him orally. Only about 1% of all oral herpes is HSV2. So you have that... though I'd be cautious until you hit the 4-6 month mark as you are more likely to have OB's in the early months. Odds are your OB was actually caused by the oral sex ... it's not uncommon for us to have OB's after sex, especially when we first get it. So odds are he's fine. All that said, his comment about " he loathes cold sores, how he would self-destruct if he got them." is a little dramatic to say the least. 80% of people have oral HSV1... 80% don't know they have it. So odds are he already has Oral HSV1 anyway. Tell him to put that in his pipe and smoke it. If he's been at all sexually active he's likely gone down on women who have HSV1 or 2 genitally and likely been given oral by women who have HSV1 orally. So if he's that opposed to getting "cold sores", he needs to stop kissing women (as 80% will have it and *may* give it to him) and he needs to wrap his willy in saran wrap because unless he goes and gets tested with EVERY partner he has (and you have to ASK for the HSV tests... they are not included in the STD testing, so odds are he's never been tested for it), there will ALWAYS be a risk of getting an STD. Oh - and odds are he could be carrying HPV (Human Papillomavirus) and not know it because there's no test for that one for men, and the CDC says we will all likely get at least 1 of the 40 types of HPV.... I'm not saying all this to scare you.... but to point out that a combination of ignorance, unwillingness to talk about and get properly educated about STD's, the unwillingness to get tested between EVERY partner, and the reality is that having sex comes with risks no matter how careful we are. Thankfully Herpes is mostly a nuisance for most of us at worst... it won't kill us. But if he's that worried about the possibility of the occasional sore on his lip he needs to become a monk... because if he isn't already carrying it, odds are he will at some point if he is sexually active. And that's just reality :) Herpes makes a great Wingman ... and you may have just seen a side of this man that is telling you something you might not learn about him under normal circumstances until you were much deeper in the relationship.... (((HUGS))) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/ Herpes as a relationship filter Adrial

@serendipity515 Soooo glad you checked in with us! And soooo happy for you! For anyone who is recently diagnosed, you can click on serendipity515's name and go see her journey with us..... I think you will see a lot of what you are feeling now in her early posts.... which may help you to realize that your ATTITUDE has a LOT to do with how well you end up dealing and living with Herpes. (((HUGS))) all around!

@WantThisToWorkOut Hello and Welcome! So sorry you are going through this.... sadly your "ignorance" is VERY common because of the abysmal health/sex ed in this country. And no you didn't "lie" to her... you didn't know better, and that's not your fault. It's the fault of the system. So first, try to stop beating yourself up ... because that won't resolve anything. To be honest, there's a big difference of opinion anyway about whether you need to "disclose" Oral HSV1 to partners, including among Doctors. So given that, how were you to know? I think you have 2 options (depending on whether she will do them): 1) Send her here. Let US support and educate her. I'm a 35+ yr veteran, had 2 daughters (1 naturally.... the first by 'section because the Dr scared me into it, and they are both H-). and I've had a normal life with the occasional nuisance OB. Once her body gets it under control and she learns how to control it, it should turn into something that isn't any worse than having a cold... pain in the ass but we survive it! But she can't see that right now. And she needs to hear from people who have lived with it ... she's right, you can't understand... oral OB's (I get them too... I hit the jackpot and got both types!) and genital OB's (especially for women, because the labia are REALLY sensitive) are very different. So send her here.... tell her there's a great group who can help her to not feel alone, who will understand her fears, anger, and upset, and who will help her learn the reality of living with H. 2) Go to a OBGYN/PP with her and ask all the questions that you can in front of her. Don't go to a regular Dr - you need an expert who will really know how to deal with her fears. Try to find someone who is empathetic to their clients ... some are a little more abrupt (they don't see H as a big deal and can't understand the hysteria that some feel when they are diagnosed). She needs someone who will sit with her and answer anything she needs to know.... You can also print out the handouts below, and show her the video and other links I'll give you. And then all you can do is let her know you love her, and accept however she reacts. You likely won't be able to "reason" her into understanding the reality of how this all happened.... and to be honest, her anger is VERY normal and with luck will pass... but it will pass faster if you can get her to someone who can talk reality with her from experience. (((HUGS))) http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/ http://supporttruthanddialog.com/diagnosis_it-isnt-the-end/ http://supporttruthanddialog.com/patience-grasshopper/ Handouts + disclosure e-book: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Herpes facts video

@jess I don't have any info on anything in Australia... sorry.... but I'd go to your local GUM clinic (Or whatever you call your sexual/genital health Dr's there) and ask if they know any place... or if you have a Planned Parenthood type clinic ... I'm sure you do have a support group in an area like that :)

I am disappointed that he wasn't honest with her. I don't want him to be that person. She told me they haven't been using condoms. I don't know what to think of him. This whole time i've been suffering, trying to heal myself, and he has continued with his childish player ways. You answered your own comment. He's still a child. He's putting women at risk of getting herpes, knowing full well his status. Why would you want a BOY like that in your life? Because he's not acting like a MAN. And I'm going to give you a little Tough Love friend. Drop the excuse that you live in the middle of nowhere ... if you are in a college there are plenty of other people there. Or get on Meetup.com and find people with similar interests to yours (there are groups for EVERYTHING there!). Volunteer for something that ignites your passion. Your Herpes friend is *trying* to show you who this guy is.... the fact that the other girl reached out to you is H SCREAMING (remember Herpes is your WINGMAN... listen to it!) at you to wake up and see him for who he is. You say you want to fast forward to when you are happily married ... I agree with @sunshineandwhiskey - I'm also much older and honey, your man will come when YOU are ready... and by that I mean when you have learned the lessons you need to be the best partner that you can be. So don't rush it. Take the lessons from this, then kick dirt over that shit and walk away from the negative stuff, and take the positive with you.... (((HUGS)))

Love Zach Anner ... I've seen other videos by him. He's a riot and doesn't let anything stop him....

@r-l Hello and Welcome! So... yes, it's not uncommon to have back-to-back OB's early on. Right now your body doesn't have any antibodies to fight the virus ... now, most people never have one symptom, while a small number have outbreaks each year, and fewer still have ongoing OB's for some time. And there's no one thing that will tell us why any one person gets one experience or another. *Usually* it will settle down within a few months ... and yes, periods don't help. I used to get OB's during almost every period early on. Over the years, they got fewer and fewer. Went through a couple years more recently with almost nothing. Now I'm getting some oral sores every month or so (I have both) but I'm under a lot of stress trying to get my elderly father's house sold in Fla and get him moved up to NY with me... so I'm not surprised....stress is a BIG trigger for H. Also, for some, certain foods or whatever are triggers. So you may want to keep a journal to see where you spot patterns. And attack it from the outside,,,, that helps a lot! Suggestions below to help you to find what works for you :) As for the future, odds are things will settle down over time. Do you know if it's HSV1 or 2? I suggest you keep a journal of what you are eating, activities, stressors, etc ... see if you can see a pattern for what makes it worse. I often say that Herpes is like a "first responder" to the health of your body ... although in the first few months, it's often just that your body needs time to figure out how to get it under control. Second - attack it from the outside ... I'm going to put a bunch of links but generally Epsom Salts baths (drop a double handful of the salts between your legs so its concentrated there), followed by thorough drying (even using a hair drier to get it really dry), maybe going commando, and using Bactine (which helps to kill the virus AND numb it thanks to the lidocaine in it) ... or my favorite, Ammonium Alum ... but there's LOTS of suggestions in the links. I find if you attack it from the outside, the inside can do it's job better :) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6024/dealing-with-outbreaks#latest includes links below http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7595/bactine-wipes-and-some-motivational-quotes http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/#more-2122 http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1624/herpes-medication-genital-hsv-1-how-to-keep-herpes-outbreaks-clean-dry#Item_22 My discussion amonium Alum) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1496/bathroom-time- http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/ http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2010/genital-ulcers.htm#hsv Links to some of the items suggested in the links http://amzn.to/1CHUzZE Link to Alum http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream http://amzn.to/1F10r3V Fractionated Coconut Oil http://bit.ly/zincsoap Zinc Soap with coconut oil http://bit.ly/Zinccream http://bit.ly/Calendula_Salve http://tinyurl.com/bactine http://amzn.to/1oUDY2n Chaga Mushroom http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose http://tinyurl.com/DMSO4HSV

@Hguy2016 Hello and Welcome: Well, you say the first STD test was negative for everything, but the second you came up positive for HSV1? That would indicate that you got HSV1 from oral sex.... 50% of all new cases of Genital Herpes are HSV1 from oral sex. If you didn't have genital contact, you won't have HSV2. 7 weeks is early for an IgG ... but not impossible for it to show up. We usually recommend waiting 4 months for a conclusive IgG What kind of Dr's are you going to? If they are regular GP's or Clinic Dr's, they are likely not well informed. Being a guy, my best suggestion is to to Planned Parenthood. GP's and the like are often terribly poorly informed. So next "OB", go to PP and see if you can get a swab done. If you have not had this kind of "rash" until right after your encounter, I'd say the odds are you got HSV1 from the oral sex. If you have had similar rashes, then it may well be that.... but as you said, most people have HSV1 so a blood test doesn't tell you where you have it..... so unless you have an old STD test that shows you were HSV1-, a blood test with that now sadly can't tell you if you have it orally or genitally ... As for the eyes, if you think you are having an OB there, go to an Optometrist. They know how to swab that area..... but generally odds are low that you will get it there. It's mostly kids who pick their oral sores and then poke their eyes.... with normal hygiene, you should be fine. ((HUGS))

She said above that they didn't....

I LOVe Bishop TD Jakes! PREACH!

Yup - each country will have their own approval process - so while something may pass in Australia, it will have to get approved here, and as you are in Brazil, it will have to get approved there ... unless you are willing to go to Australia for the treatment ...

@Bdo92 Hello and Welcome So - he's an adult, right? And you told him the risks, right? So he made an adult choice to remove the condom and sadly he picked the wrong day to do it and you happened to be shedding and he got Herpes. That isn't your fault. I suggest that you send him here. It would be good for him to have people who are not emotionally attached to talk to so he can get support and get informed... and it will help to take the pressure off of you to "make it better". That said, you say it's on his neck? Well, it's not impossible but when guys get it on that area it's usually from wrestling. And if he got oral sex from you it's not going to end up on his neck. And there's no way he would get it on his neck from removing the condom. He really needs to go to a Dr and get it checked out. You may be freaking out and taking responsibility for something that isn't Herpes .... never mind that it's not your fault. (((HUGS)))

Ahhhhh - rejection - *Sigh* .... we humans really get screwed up over it... when in fact, it's a physical and psychological reaction to something that animals just take in their stride.... or at least, they don't get half as screwed up as we do over it. This might be a good place for you to start to get a perspective on rejection :) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/rejection_its-all-about-perspective/ (my blog) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4699/first-real-disclosure-first-real-rejection Rejection as your teacher….. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201307/10-surprising-facts-about-rejection

@Once Hello and Welcome! I totally hear you on the issue of not having insurance! I'm right there with you. It sounds like you went to a regular Dr or a clinic? In which case, unfortunately you went to the wrong kind of Dr. Yes, they are *meant* to "know it all", but if you think about it, "All" is a whole lotta info. And so those Dr's have to prioritize on what they stay on top of AND they may only see a lot of things a few times a year or even a month.... and that may not be enough for them to get the full understanding of the complexity of something like Herpes (which is a very clever virus... so it can show up in many ways). So if you go somewhere again, I STRONGLY suggest that you go to Planned Parenthood seeing as you don't have insurance for anything to do with the lady bits... all they do is work with genitals and reproductive issues, so they are specialists in that area and they have (or should have) seen it all. AND, they should give you a good cut in the cost and you can do payment plans. Last time I went I paid about 1/2 the cost, at about $25/month. As for your symptoms... unfortunately we are not medical professionals here and from what you are saying, it could be either, OR both. You say you ordered the WBlot... thing is, it will be a waste of money for you now until you are about 4 months out. You need to have developed the antibodies and that takes a minimum of 3 months for most... we suggest waiting 4 months to be sure. The blood test you were given was likely the IgM - which is considered useless by anyone who knows anything about Herpes which just goes to show that your Dr went by old protocols. It's easily "contaminated" by other proteins.... so it's not a good indicator of your status. I *would* see if you can get some money taken off the bill. I had a misdiagnosis years ago (around Lyme disease) on a 1st visit... and they almost kept treating me with the wrong meds (which could have resulted in me having chronic Lyme). I wrote them and said I didn't think I should have to pay for the first visit because they misdiagnosed me and could have caused more harm with their treatment. They wrote off the first visit. The problem is that Insurance pays no matter how many times you go in, so Dr's (IMO) get lazy and go for the first thing they think it is rather than testing or looking for other possibilities. AND.. that said, again, a Clinic Dr just plain CAN'T know every little thing about every virus and condition that walks through their doors. I suggest that if you think you are having an OB, that you go to PP and see if they can get a swab. They will be more experienced in knowing if you are likely to be a good candidate for a swab too... if they don't see enough to swab, they won't/shouldn't swab. And it may be that the yeast infection (if that's what you have) didn't get totally cleared up. I'd hold onto that WB test till you reach the 4 month point. And stop trying to self-diagnose. A Dr. can't tell you by a visual/symptoms visit... so there's no way YOU will be able to do any better. You need either a positive swab/culture/blood test for that. As for the shame.... there ain't no shame in your game if you have Herpes friend! 50% of new H cases are from oral sex because 80% of carriers don't know they have it AND most that do know don't know they can pass it without symptoms (even if they know they *could* pass it to the genitals... and many don't even know that). So there are many, MANY people in your situation... the thing is, it's just not discussed so people think they are alone in this. Read these links - no matter what your situation, it may help you to see that the bottom line is that if we are sexually active, the odds are we will get *something*.... if not Herpes, HPV ... and all we can do is reduce our risk as much as possible .... but given that most people (as I mentioned) don't even know they carry Herpes (because it's not normally tested for with STD tests), and men can carry HPV and not know it (because there isn't a test for them for it yet), if we are going to be sexually active, we are in a crap shoot and the odds are not stacked in our favor.... AND... except for a couple strains of HPV, they won't kill us... (and the cancerous strains of HPV can and *should* be caught early enough to deal with before they get past pre-cancer stage). I point this out because it can help people to realize 2 things: 1) There's no shame in getting an STD. It just means you got unlucky 2) That said, we should *ALL* get better educated and learn how to protect ourselves so that we at least go into each sexual relationship/experience knowing the risks we are taking (just as you know if you jump out of an airplane with a parachute, it *might* not open.) (((HUGS))) http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/ http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm "HPV is so common that most sexually-active men and women will get at least one type of HPV at some point in their lives."

@K75 This is what I have for Washington state.. but they may have info of something closer to you... I'd contact them all.... also try Planned Parenthood.... they often have support groups or know where they are Seattle HELP P.O. Box 31171 Seattle, WA 98103 (206) 344-2539 https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/Seattle_H_Scene/info https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/capitolareafriends/info And Idaho Boise HELP c/o Planned Parenthood 6111 Clinton, Boise, ID 83704 (208) 376-9300 https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/IEHSVsingles/info Yahoo Group (for the Inland Empire, including Northern Idaho)

These News Releases are a mixed blessing. They definitely give people hope of a cure, or at least a vaccine so we can protect our partners. And hope can be good. But as someone who has had H for over 35 yrs, I can't tell you how many "promising" cures/vaccines I've read about. However, as a Forum Moderator, I've seen too many people attach to something like this, and say they won't have sex till there's a cure. And that makes me sad, because it's not like we know that it's only a year or so down the line. Most of the successful vaccines and medications take a minimum of 10 yrs to get approved... and all they need is for the FDA to come out with some stupid test/study like the one below to slow or stop the whole thing in it's tracks. On top of this, the Herpes virus is probably one of the "smartest" viruses in that the way that it hides and activates (ie, how it can come out silently and be passed asymptomatically) makes it REALLY hard to get to to kill off or control completely. So I just like to remind people when they see these things: It's good to follow this, and maybe you will get lucky and there will be a study that you can take part in to help to get it on the shelves faster. BUT, don't get attached to stopping your love/sex life until we have a cure/vaccine... because it would be such a shame for you to miss out on finding love, or having a great sex life, while the FDA and the researchers duke it out. Page 2 is where you realize the BS these things have to go through to get approved http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/819306 And if you want to see all the articles we have had on here: http://www.vox.com/2015/3/23/8264355/research-study-hype http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6802/gen-003-002-hsv2-clinical-study http://www.xconomy.com/boston/2015/10/19/genocea-ditches-pneumococcus-vaccine-after-phase-2-flop-shares-fall/ http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2015/07/17/theranos-gets-nod-fda-possible--home-testing/30312105/ (HSV1 testing at home) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/comment/19425 Genocea http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/comment/18967 Hope for a cure http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3786 Herpes Trial Info http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6159/a-real-potential-vaccine-breakthrough http://io9.com/new-vaccine-proven-effective-against-genital-and-oral-h-1690680072 http://www.hhmi.org/news/radical-vaccine-design-effective-against-herpes-viruses http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex_research http://www.dovepress.com/efficacy-of-the-anti-vzv-anti-hsv3-vaccine-in-hsv1-and-hsv2-recurrent--peer-reviewed-article-OAJCT Shingles vaccine for HSV? http://www.providencejournal.com/business/press-releases/20141008-nanobio-to-present-data-demonstrating-the-potential-for-its-intranasal-vaccine-to-protect-against-genital-herpes-infection.ece http://www.medpagetoday.com/MeetingCoverage/IDWeek/48051 http://medcitynews.com/2014/10/herpes-vaccine-maker-genocea-reports-positive-results-year-first-dose/ http://herpesvaccine.scienceblog.com/2014/05/10/how-does-the-human-immune-system-respond-to-a-hsv-2-vaccine/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4774/dr-leone-enrolling-a-herpes-vaccine-research-study-and-it-pays http://www.wwltv.com/story/news/2014/12/04/breakthrough-in-herpes-treatment-may-lead-to-success-against-viruses/19917107/ http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/819306 Pritelivir and the 900x/dose trial http://www.alternet.org/drugs/pharma-drug-bankrupting-america Reality check of what a “cure” may cost

Uh... no

Just changed this to a Success Story.... so glad you came back to let us know how it's going, and that you are learning that H will, as you said, help you to be choosy and make better partner decisions :) Well done chica! ((HUGS)))

Herpes has a habit of bringing out the insecurities that have been there all along... it has a habit of giving us "proof" that we are unlovable, or affirms that we are damaged goods (often from past experiences that we believe make us unlovable). I would suggest that you get some counseling. Sounds like you might benefit from it.... And to be honest, sometimes it just plain takes a few good experiences to help us to see that Herpes doesn't define us.

@ashamedmom Hello and Welcome! First - there's no shame in your game friend! Imagine if this happened to your child when they grow up... what would you say to them? I'm sure it would be a lot nicer than the things you are likely saying to yourself right now. So be gentle with yourself. It's a nuisance skin condition in an inconvenient place that 15% of the population has.... and more women have it because of how we are designed. As for your child, and dealing with the OB's, I'm just going to post links for now as it's 1:30 am and I have an early meeting, but basic thing on OBs is to keep it dry (go commando when you can) and use the Epsom Salts/etc... and peeing in the bath. And your kids are QUITE safe. I have Oral HSV1 and Genital HSV2. Kids often get H1 before adulthood because they pass it to each other.... as adults if we know we have H1 we can be cautious about sharing drinks and such to protect them. And H2 genital is contained around the genital area... so no reason for your child to come in contact with that area... so they are quite safe :) (((HUGS))) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/toilets-towels-and-touching-oh-my/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6024/dealing-with-outbreaks#latest includes links below http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7595/bactine-wipes-and-some-motivational-quotes http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/#more-2122 http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1624/herpes-medication-genital-hsv-1-how-to-keep-herpes-outbreaks-clean-dry#Item_22 My discussion amonium Alum) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1496/bathroom-time- http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/ http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2010/genital-ulcers.htm#hsv Links to some of the items suggested in the links http://amzn.to/1CHUzZE Link to Alum http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream http://amzn.to/1F10r3V Fractionated Coconut Oil http://bit.ly/zincsoap Zinc Soap with coconut oil http://bit.ly/Zinccream http://bit.ly/Calendula_Salve http://tinyurl.com/bactine http://amzn.to/1oUDY2n Chaga Mushroom http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose http://tinyurl.com/DMSO4HSV

Personally, I believe in transparency in a relationship...because otherwise things can get muddled and besides, if you tell him the truth, and something happens, you know you did YOUR part. I would tell him that the stress seems to have caused an OB, so you have chosen to go on the meds for YOUR peace of mind. If he brushes you off, then just make it clear that it's important to YOU that you have an open and transparent relationship. Make sure he understands things like asymptomatic shedding, and that if you say you think something is going on, that you will need to find other ways to be frisky. I call Herpes my Wingman. You can learn a lot about this guy by the way he deals with H. If he continues to put his head in the sand around it, odds are he will about other uncomfortable things. If you say it's important to YOU to be transparent, he should respect that and allow you to talk while he listens. Pay attention to his response/reactions.... they will tell you a whole lot about who he REALLY is :)

I agree, a quiet setting somewhere is best - not a restaurant where the waiter may barge in at the wrong time or you may worry about someone overhearing you. And I would have the info ready to give to him later... sometimes too much info at once is overwhelming and makes things seem bigger than it is. I suggest that you read all the Success Stories that you can. There's a wealth of info there to help you figure out what to say, as well as inspiration when you see how well someone takes the disclosure when they truly love the H+ person. In that way Herpes can be a GREAT Wingman... (see link below...no, I'm not crazy). You will quickly find out if he's into YOU, or if he wants to get INTO you. You will find out if he will stay by your side through tough times or run when things get sticky. If you can look at it more like a litmus test of his feelings, rather than some nasty flaw in you, disclosure becomes something that you can use as a tool to determine if this person really is the person you *think* they are. 🙂 (((HUGS))) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5897/my-first-disclosure-story#latest Wingman example http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 ) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6347/my-disclosure-story 2 very different reactions … but both are “successful” in their own ways 🙂 Herpes as a relationship filter Adrial http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/ Handouts + disclosure e-book: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Herpes facts video

@K75 Hello and Welcome! So you got a lot of great advice already. From everything you have said, I'd guess your hubby truly believed he had HSV1 from mastrubating, and that he couldn't pass it on when not having an OB. We have GP's who STILL tell people that, and they are practicing MD's! What I wanted to add was that I suggest that YOU go for counseling... given your past and now this, perhaps a little support and work on that inner voice you mentioned would be useful for both your own peace, and for your relationship. And maybe you could Facetime him into some of the sessions. I'm sure that being so far away, and realizing what has happened and the impact on you, must be pretty devastating for him too.... noone *wants* to pass this on. (Well, not unless they are a psychopath!). Unfortunately there IS a lot of ignorance around this virus.... even in the medical field. One other thing - please go to an OBGYN for your lady-bits and not your GP... GP stands for GENERAL Practitioner. Most are totally hopeless when it comes to Herpes (even though they may be supportive ... most seem to be out of date on their info). GP's should be used for basic, general health. Any "specialty" should be the realm of a Dr that deals with that issue every day. There's just too much info for a GP to stay on top of and Herpes is near the bottom of their list of things to prioritize, along with carbuncles and ingrown toenails. LOL