WCSDancer2010

And just as a FYI - perhaps something in these links will help you to find some relief. I find that when you attack the OB's from the outside, you can help your body to gain control a lot faster... and there are some supplements/etc that seem to help folks like Olive Leaf Extract and L-Lysine ... I suggest you keep a journal of what you are eating, activities, stressors, etc ... see if you can see a pattern for what makes it worse. I often say that Herpes is like a "first responder" to the health of your body ... although in the first few months, it's often just that your body needs time to figure out how to get it under control. Attack from the outside: Generally Epsom Salts baths (drop a double handful of the salts between your legs so its concentrated there), followed by thorough drying (even using a hair drier to get it really dry), maybe going commando, and using Bactine (which helps to kill the virus AND numb it thanks to the lidocaine in it) ... or my favorite, Ammonium Alum ... but there's LOTS of suggestions in the links. http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6024/dealing-with-outbreaks#latest includes links below http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7595/bactine-wipes-and-some-motivational-quotes http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/#more-2122 http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1624/herpes-medication-genital-hsv-1-how-to-keep-herpes-outbreaks-clean-dry#Item_22 My discussion amonium Alum) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1496/bathroom-time- http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/ http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2010/genital-ulcers.htm#hsv Links to some of the items suggested in the links http://amzn.to/1CHUzZE Link to Alum http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream http://amzn.to/1F10r3V Fractionated Coconut Oil http://bit.ly/zincsoap Zinc Soap with coconut oil http://bit.ly/Zinccream http://bit.ly/Calendula_Salve http://tinyurl.com/bactine http://amzn.to/1oUDY2n Chaga Mushroom http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose http://tinyurl.com/DMSO4HSV

@FlawsAndAll First, Hello and Welcome! Sorry to "meet" you this way, but I'm so glad you found us! Herpes has forced my inner demons to surface and I am forced to face them now or die completely inside. Every painful experience from my past has been restimulated by this experience, and now I see all the trauma I have supressed for so many years. I can't hide from myself anymore and THAT is more scary than anything. I believe that my true spiritual journey has finally begun, and as painful as it is right now, there is life inside me still, and although I'm not amused by the sarcastic humor of the universe, I hope that one day I can look back at this experience with a smile on my face and say "I did it!" I wish everyone could see it this way. Because you are sooo right. Herpes has a way of digging out the demons we have suppressed so you can't stuff them down or hide from them any more. The thing is, you went into this kinda "wanting" to bring them out... and unfortunately this was what it took to make it happen. The problem for so many is, they weren't "ready" ... the "teacher" entered their life before they reached that point (or at least realized they were at the point) where they were ready to face the things that are holding them back in life. I can already tell that you are going to be fine. You are approaching this with the right attitude - you aren't blaming the virus or buying into the shame like so many do. And that will make a HUGE difference to how fast you find your answers. I hope you will stick around and support others as you find your own way through this. We need more voices like yours... and perhaps in supporting others, you will find your answers. (((HUGS)))

^^^^^^^^^^^^ Now THAT was funny! Quick input about the increase in H1 transmission to genitals: 3 causes: 1) 80% of carriers are clueless that they have it 2) Ignorance: Those that know they have cold sores often have no idea it can be spread to the genitals, especially between OB's 3) MASSIVE increase in oral sex rates, esp among the Youth who have been led to believe (in their so-called sex education) that "abstinence" is safe.... and they don't see Oral Sex as "Sex" ... and likely they are not being given the info about the fact that 60% of them are likely carrying the virus already and 80% of them don't know it and they should get tested. And I hear from women/girls on a pretty regular basis that they gave the new guy they started dating last week oral (whether the act was reciprocated or not) because they think that's how they keep the guys interested. It's a sad reflection on our society that girls/women still believe that crap.... but it's true. So that right there accounts for increased H1 genital transmission as well as the issue of most people not disclosing HSV1 oral ..... The bottom line is this friggin country has to get out of the Puritan mentality about sex and start having FRANK conversations about sex, STD's, Pregnancy, and anything else to do with the subject. Until then, things won't change much if at all...

You generally can only autoinnoculate in the first few months that you have the virus... after that you shouldn't have to worry about it...

@mkat52 I have to keep this short as I'm going out of town but there are a bunch of things you can do to knock OB's down and there are people who are dealing with the nerve issues here who may be able to help you with some of the options there ( @2legit2quit ) Here's some things you can do to try to figure out what may be triggering your symptoms and other things you can do to knock the symptoms and OB's down... And I know this may be hard to believe, but it WILL get better .... at least to some extent ... learning what you can do to at least reduce symptoms often helps to reduce the stress... and stress is the #1 trigger for herpes.... so it's a viscous cycle when you have symptoms and then get stressed about them. And yes your BF can give you oral... I wouldn't do when you have symptoms esp an OB ... but only 1% of all oral herpes is HSV2 because H2 doesn't like the mouth area... so simple precautions should be all you need to worry about. Treatments/medications I suggest you keep a journal of what you are eating, activities, stressors, etc ... see if you can see a pattern for what makes it worse. I often say that Herpes is like a "first responder" to the health of your body ... although in the first few months, it's often just that your body needs time to figure out how to get it under control. Second - attack it from the outside ... I'm going to put a bunch of links but generally Epsom Salts baths (drop a double handful of the salts between your legs so its concentrated there), followed by thorough drying (even using a hair drier to get it really dry), maybe going commando, and using Bactine (which helps to kill the virus AND numb it thanks to the lidocaine in it) ... or my favorite, Ammonium Alum ... but there's LOTS of suggestions in the links. I find if you attack it from the outside, the inside can do it's job better :) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6024/dealing-with-outbreaks#latest includes links below http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/ http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7595/bactine-wipes-and-some-motivational-quotes http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/#more-2122 http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1624/herpes-medication-genital-hsv-1-how-to-keep-herpes-outbreaks-clean-dry#Item_22 My discussion amonium Alum) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1496/bathroom-time-

Just to add, the vast majority of Ocular Herpes cases are in CHILDREN who get an oral OB, pick it, then poke their eyes. Kids are walking Petri dishes so they are far more likely to auto-innoculate themselves than adults because they don't wash hands after handling things that may have virus or bacteria on them :) As for "Ear Herpes" - the name is just to describe the location. You *CAN* get Herpes *ANYWHERE* - Wrestlers get "Herpes Gladitorium" on their bodies during a wrestling match from someone who has H1 on the mouth that is shedding. They are meant to declare if they have an oral H OB before a match (they are not obvious early in the OB) but they won't always tell because they won't be allowed to wrestle) and they pass it because the other person gets a scrape on the mats then comes in contact with the lip during a pin or whatever. All these are VERY rare though and with simple measures (washing with soap after handling an OB and being HONEST if you are potentially having an OB so you don't pass it on) 99.9% of people won't get H in an area that isn't the "typical" area for it.

Why do you think HSV1 is called a "Cold Sore"? Because many people get their OB's when they are sick :) So yes, but I'd say STRESS of ANY kind will do it, and an illness/etc all that stuff are stressors. I haven't had many OB's in years. Right now I'm getting minor OB's in my nose (where I also have it as I got it as a child and likely auto-innoculated that area when I first got it) constantly as I'm dealing with trying to get my ailing 88 yr old father up here along with financial issues and a few other things that are all piling up at once. For *me*, this kind of stress seems to be my main trigger. I had about 5 or 6 yrs where life was really smooth and great and hardly had anything in that time. Interestingly, while I know I'm under a lot of stress, I'm not feeling like I'm anywhere near freak out levels.... but the constant and unrelenting concern of when I will get the next message that Dad is in hospital again (he's 1000 miles away) is certainly having an effect on my body, and H is sending me that message loud and clear.

I'm sorry that Man #4 couldn't get to a comfortable place with it. Unless he asks all of his future prospective dates to show him a recent HSV test, and they haven't had any sexual contact for four months prior to the test, there's a pretty good likelihood he'll run into someone else with it who just doesn't know. 's how my boyfriend seemed to rationalize it in his head - by the time women get into their 40s, at least 1 in 4 has HSV2 (I've seen as high as 50%!), and even higher percentage has HSV1. The chances are, if he's dating around, he's going to run into someone who has one type of HSV, either of which could end up on his genitals. This is EXACTLY what I said to @CD3377 in another communication. That he's totally ignoring the fact that the odds are VERY high he will come across it again, likely from someone who doesn't know they have it (which is, IMO, riskier for getting it than dating someone who knows they have it) http://m.jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/194/1/42.long Knowledge of Partners’ Genital Herpes Protects against Herpes Simplex Virus Type 2 Acquisition And I say basically what @MMissouri said here all the time: @CD3377 I agree that we do sometimes lose great people to H, but I'm starting to think maybe they aren't as great as we are making them out to be. Bare with me here. My point is.. there are many good people out there. Really great guys. And even though sometimes we focus on one, we can't forget there are other possibilities. Again, listen to your Herpes Wingman. He's showing you something about his personality. Or perhaps where he's at right now. Having been the "rebound chick" several times, I've learned that guys on the rebound can be VERY squirrely .... ie: it doesn't take much for them to run because they just are not ready to be IN a relationship and anything that makes them think of the commitment part of that (ie, do I want to be with someone with an STD if I'm not ready to commit?) they run for the hills. So you have men who accepted you regardless of H, who weren't all looking for a LTR. That shows you how H doesn't have to be an issue for most. I would also say that one thing I've seen that seems to make for more success with those with H - for *many*, they don't tell the other person as early as you do. Mostly because they don't want to share something with someone they are getting to know. Most say they used to jump in bed in a few dates but H has forced them to slow down and *Get To Know* the other person first. Many write off a lot of potential partners before they get to sex (that they *would* have been sexual with, got emotionally attached to, and THEN realized that it was a mistake or they get hurt by the other person)...so they are thankful that they have H to force them to slow things down. And when they DO tell the other person, that person is generally a bit more invested in the relationship and will be more likely to look at EVERY avenue before ditching (and if they do go at that point, while it sucks, it shows that they are just unable to deal with medical stressors.... so how would they deal with something worse like Cancer?) You never know ... H may have just saved you a LOT of heartache later..... http://supporttruthanddialog.com/when-should-i-disclose/ And in the end, there are many, MANY things that could be "deal breakers" for a potential partner. H is just one of them. It's life. We can't take that personally. It's just something we have to live through and learn from :) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/disclosure-its-not-just-about-herpes/ http://www.match.com/magazine/article/4010/I-Have-a-Secret-How-to-Reveal-It-To-Your-Date/ When to have the H talk Adrial

@Msw_1 So you have never had an OB? Then if your results were under 3.5 you need to get a Western Blot test. 40% of people who are asymptomatic with a result under 3.5 are false positive on the regular IgG tests. Westover Heights Clinic,http://westoverheights.com/ (503) 226-6678 ... they can order the test for you through Quest Labs. It costs $5/minute for a consult … cheap IMO for clarity and/or peace of mind. "Do adults get HSV1 any more?" 60% of young people have H1 orally by the time they are young adults The other 20% probably get it in their younger years.... but that doesn't mean you can't get it when you are older. But I'm guessing the remaining 20% either have some kind of genetic/natural immunity or *perhaps* they have been exposed to tiny amounts enough to have just enough antibodies to fight it off when exposed. Who knows? "Are there any cases of ppl never having outbreaks & thus not knowing where the virus is?" Yup - 80% of the population with H don't know they have it.

@thenewguy91 I agree - sounds like the acne.... especially given that the compress made it go away. Herpes wouldn't act like that. That said, 80% of people have oral herpes. 60% of young people have it by the time they are young adults. 80% never know it. This is one virus you are surrounded by, that won't kill you and that, if you haven't got it by now orally, odds are very low that you will get it. AND, if you do, I PROMISE it's not the end of the world. Take it from someone who has had it since she was a young toddler. :) I hope you are getting help for your anxiety. A GOOD therapist will help you to learn how to recognize when you are letting your brain run the show. In the meantime, do what we tell EVERYONE on here: STAY OFF DR GOOGLE! LOL. There's a lot of great info out there but when you are in a state of high anxiety, you are in no fit state to self-diagnose. Once you have a feeling that "something isn't right", get to a professional. Now, I suggest that for *you*, if this happens again, ask them to do a swab to put your mind to rest. That will help your brain to have feedback that you are overthinking things when it comes back negative. Hope that helps.... and like Adrial said, use this as your Anxiety Opportunity to learn to grow and learn from :)

I've had this 35 yrs and I still have some sneak up on me. Thankfully nowadays they are small and very controllable. But it wasn't always that way. To answer your question @hippyherpy: Why do some people get a cold every other week and others don't? Why does someone get Cancer from smoking and yet you see a 95 yr old Grandma who has smoked a pack a week her whole life who is fit as a fiddle? I'd say it's likely (and this is a total ballpark guess) 45% immune system function (which includes any compromises to it from drugs or autoimmune disorders, as well as stress levels) 25% which type/strain you get AND *perhaps* how much of a "dose" you get at the time (ie, if you have it on multiple nerve ganglion, perhaps your body can't fight it as well as someone who got a "small" dose that hangs out on one nerve ganglion) 25% Genetics - one of the biggest breakthroughs in HIV treatment was when researchers found a man who had a gene that kept him from getting HIV. About 1% of the population carries that gene. Given that 80% of people don't express herpes (ie, have symptoms), *perhaps* they have genes that help to suppress the virus... which may be complicated by either of the above (which would explain why many have OB's many years after they acquire it) 5% Attitude - I firmly believe that for *most* people, if they resolve to learn to figure out what their body doesn't like (foods/whatever that cause OB's) and you don't buy into the stigma (ie, you don't have that STRESSOR in your life) that these people at least have less intense OB's. Yes, there are many who get ongoing nerve pain and such... or many OB's ... but I think the 95% stuff above is at play there.... AND... the Attitude can still at least *help* the body to fight it better. Even if it's just a little bit :) OB's are just "shedding on steroids" - the body is shedding so much virus that the immune system sets out to fight it off which causes the blisters, just as you would get a reaction to any foreign body in your system. So the secret to reducing OB's is to keep your body in as good of a state of health/low stress so that the immune system can keep it "contained" in the ganglion (which is the only place it can hide from the antibodies). The rest is likely not in your control, though it does seem that age does help to calm things down too. I have no idea what that is about. Hormones? Weakening of the virus? Lower hormone levels? Who knows. The body is one of the most fascinating chemistry labs you will ever come across. The problem is that we continually do shit to compromise it. Drugs (Medical AND Recreational). Alcohol. Junk/Processed Food. Chemicals in our food. Chemicals in our cosmetics and skin care products. Stress from jobs and families and life in general. IMO it's not surprising that it can't always deal when that one stressor comes along and overwhelms it. So it's likely a combination of things. Whether I have the percentages right or not (probably not!) doesn't matter. We can only deal with what we can control.... which is what we DO to our bodies, what we PUT INTO our bodies, and how we DEAL with what life throws us. Take care of your body, learn what it likes and doesn't like. And if you still can't control the virus, take advantage of whatever medical help you can. It's all we *can* do, after all, right?

There's no telling what the rash is - could be heat, could be herpes, could be something else. I'd try the acyclovir/valtrex ... if it clears it up, then you know it's Herpes. :) And it's not an antibiotic... it's an anti-VIRAL - very different drug :)

@live Hello and Welcome! So - first thing: get tested. You don't know if you have HSV1 or HSV2. If it's H1, you could have got it from oral sex. If your wife knew she had H, she may or may not have had correct info on how to protect you. Many are told by their Dr's that you are safe if you don't have sex during an OB and that in between you are fine, which is incorrect. So there are those who are blissfully ignorant thanks to Dr's who are out of date on their info. Knowing which one you have can help with disclosure. For one thing, the better informed you are, the more confident you can be with your disclosure. If you are confident and they trust you have a hold on things, they are more likely to trust you to look after their welfare regarding doing what you can to not pass it on. If you are ashamed, fearful, or feel "dirty" and they pick that up from you, odds are they will buy into that, and of course they will walk away unless they have already had experience/knowledge of what H really entails. And you need to forgive yourself and work on loving yourself before you will be ready to be with someone else :) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6070/it-gets-better great tips for newbies http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2886/herpes-yoga-and-self-love I personally would get tested for EVERYTHING including herpes... even though you used a condom, there are other things that you could have got from the sex workers. Before you go forward with ANYONE that is something that needs to be a priority, for your sake as well as theirs. None of us *want* to pass this on to those we love. But all of life includes risk ... and we all just have to do what we can to to reduce the risks that we are aware of. Think of it this way... **I assume you drive a car **and I assume if that is correct, you may occasionally drive your friends/family somewhere **And you ALL know there is ALWAYS a risk of a car accident no matter how careful you are **But you drive them anyway, right? Do you obsess day and night that you might injure/kill them every time they get in your car? I doubt it. **Why is the possibility of passing on H any different? At least it won't kill them!!! Think on it :) Also, Herpes makes a GREAT Wingman... check out the links below and perhaps you will understand where I'm coming from :) (((HUGS))) http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/ Herpes as a relationship filter Adrial

Most mouth ulcers that are inside the mouth are canker sores ... which is not herpes .... but BOTH just LOOOVE stress... so that's likely why you get both at the same time.... If you are HSV2+ and you think you have HSV1, get blood tested... that will give you your answer... but odds are they are canker sores Look at all the causes for canker sores here... as well as info on them http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/canker-sore/basics/definition/con-20021262

@janedoe Can you direct him here... he needs support and a bit of a reality check.., If you can't get him here, give him these links... they may help him to see he's FAR from alone ... he asks "Why is this happening to ME?"... ask him "Why not?" - 15-20% of people get it. Non monogamous sex is a crap shoot where you can up your odds of not getting a STD by using condoms, but fact of the matter is, it's kinda like putting snow tires on your car in the winter. You increase your safety, but that won't stop someone else from hitting you, and it won't help you if you hit black ice. Shit happens. Life isn't always fair. Sometimes ya gotta just deal with the hand you are given ... and I'll take this over that car accident any day... and yet we will all get in a car tomorrow and risk a potential injury that will make H look like a walk in the park 😛 http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/ Handouts + disclosure e-book: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Herpes facts video

Whatever happens, you will be fine. We are here to help you with getting through the next weeks and months whatever happens. And remember, many of us here have had this a LONG time and life goes on for us... and many who have had it less time have found love - often FAR better than anything they have experienced. (((HUGS)))

Never heard of that - but Herpes generally doesn't hang inside the mouth - in most people it's on the outside of the lip. Most sores on the inside of the mouth are canker sores which are not herpes....

Just make sure it's a Type Specific test ... some places like to lump them together which isn't helpful if one partner has HSV1 and the other has HSV2 :p

Yes - when not having an OB, odds are you will shed less.... if it's in the pubic hair area, maybe don't shave right before sex... that can set off an OB ... or even use a trimmer rather than a tight shave. There's some thought that H had increased in recent times because we tend to shave down there now and that Pubes had acted as a barrier in the past...... Also with the location, if you are not sure of your status, you can try to keep that area from rubbing against your partner... which can make for some potentially interesting new positions ;)

Come to think of it though, it's probably more a reflection of that other person. On a psychological level, they aren't willing to face up to their own scars. Maybe I'm diverging or getting too deep... BOOM!!!! You hit the nail on the head,... these links may help you to chew on this one a bit more... but this isn't just about Herpes either.... it's just become "our" way of learning these things about relationships: http://supporttruthanddialog.com/disclosure-its-not-just-about-herpes/ http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/ http://supporttruthanddialog.com/rejection_its-all-about-perspective/

I already replied to your PM - but a few more thoughts. As @optimist said, he's going to find that more than 50% of the women in his age bracket are HSV2+ ... and you can bet your bottom dollar many don't know it. And if you are asymptomatic and have a result under 3.5, you need to do the Western Blot test ... 40% of positive results in this range on asymptomatic people are false positives. Which, if his Dr's knew anything, they might have asked that question, but I can tell you that 99% of regular GP's are on "clueless" end of the Herpes spectrum. Seriously. They give out horrid advice. So he may need to get some info from people that KNOW what they are talking about.... and that means NOT his friends..... Give him the info I gave you... AND ... remember, H is your Wingman.... listen to how this guy is (not) dealing well with this. He said it was not the probability of risk but the existence of risk that influenced him. In other words, he needed to believe there was a way to eliminate risk entirely and there is not. Yet he is continuing to take unknown risks. Seriously??? Eliminate risk. Tell the guy that he needs to go live in a bubble. If he drives a car, he risks FAR worse things than getting a rash in an inconvenient place. And that's one of MANY "risks" he likely takes every day... SMDH....

So you have had it swabbed in both places? It's very rare to have HSV1 in both places.. HSV1 sheds at different rates in each area HSV-1 genital 3-5% HSV-1 oral 9-18% So if anything, you are more likely to pass H1 on from oral sex than genital sex. AND, you could pass it on from either area without symptoms. The vast majority of people get H from someone who is asymptomatic... after all, who wants to get freaky when you have one of those sores? They HURT! That said, again, 80% of the population has HSV1. If you want to be extra careful. perhaps take the antivirals when having a sexual relationship.... but the main thing for either area is to monitor your body and don't do anything if you have any concerns that you may be getting ready to have an OB.

A "Successful" disclosure can be one where the person ran for the hills - because IMO if they are that spooky, they either weren't that into you, or they are too easily spooked and if it wasn't H, it would be something else ... These 2 discussions show exactly what I'm talking about :) And glad you are taking his reaction so well @MMissouri ... his reaction isn't about you, nor is it really about H ... it's about his fears and his boundaries/deal breakers. He could well have been ok with H, then found out you have something else (money issues, kids, other illness, etc) that he's just not willing to deal with. @2legit2quit was left standing after disclosing her issues with an Autoimmune disorder :p http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 ) http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6347/my-disclosure-story 2 very different reactions … but both are “successful” in their own ways :)

BTW, a standard GP isn't likely to be much use to you with this hence the reaction of the clinic you went to. An OBGYN is more likely to be a bit more sympathetic to you and get you a test over a GP....

I lived in the UK and I know what it's like to deal with a system that has protocols that don't always make sense.... AND I learned that sometimes you have to pitch a fit to get things done the way they need to be done. So be ready to take a stand for yourself. Hopefully the alternative Dr will get the test for you. The fissures are usually like papercuts .... but like all things "herpes", there are many atypical ways that they present.... and yeast can cause the same kinds of fissures/papercuts. Which is why you need someone who is willing to look at ALL options. If you got relief from the Thrush tablet, it may still be thrush and you may just have to attack it more aggressively.... also, get onto a Probiotic ( get a GOOD one) and start taking it asap - get off of sugar as much as possible while you are trying to clear it up. Candida (aka Thrush) thrives with diets that are high in sugar, esp once the system is off kilter. You may need to take it several times a day and the alternative Dr may even give you probiotic suppositories to try. Right now, I'm putting my money on it being Thrush... but best to get blood tested seeing as you have been exposed to someone with H....