seeker

Id suggest getting a good mens grooming shaver kit. They come with multiple attachments to get that well guaffed look. Even if you eant to go full hairless you can use it to pretrim for shaving.

13. Worrying that a romantic relationship doesn't check all the boxes on every "179,000 Ways To Know You're In The Right Relationship" list on the Internet. this one should be stamped on everyones bathroom mirror

ive told one friend, right after my diagnosis and @ the time I found this site. He looked at me and said, its a skin condition, get over yourself oh and by the way a few of our friends have it also. him having been thru cancer 2x helped put it into perspective.

chin up brother. if you do have h1 orally in your throat I assume it wont be rearing its ugly head a whole lot as that's not a typical area for it. and are you saying you have h1 orally and genitally? chances are if that's so, you got them around the same time as if you had it orally for a while you would have had antibodies to help fight it elsewhere, tho not 100% esp with a lack of knowledge/understanding of whats going on. I feel for you my friend, being gay in a rural area cant be fun. its a shame but not everywhere has opened up and accepted the LBGT community, but it seems to be getting better as more people acknowledge who they are. kind of hard to be against someone when that person is your kid or sister or such. keep your head up, it will get better. come on here to vent, cry, get support etc.

agree with all of the above. maybe try to start with more foreplay type stuff and forget the intercourse for a bit till your more comfortable, I don't know, just throwing stuff against the wall to see what sticks. I can tell you, as a man I really don't want to know whats going on down there, esp in detail, its one of my favorite places and sometimes ignorance is bliss. as carlos mencia said, that's a restaurant I like to eat at and I don't need to know all the details about whats going on in the kitchen. in other less crass words, a yes or no would work, esp if you had to say no but still fooled around in other ways cause you know once a mans blood is in his other brain we tend to become less focused on, well anything else.

lol @ MMissouri, that topic had been brought up before. I have my H on my testicles and yeppers I used to shave down there, maybe if a had a nice 70s jungle I wouldn't have H, dunno. shedding wasn't really "discovered" until people started deforesting the area ( on a side note, pubic lice are in decline in America due to loss of habitat). and yes hair is there for a reason, don't know if helping with STIs is one of them but it does trap our scent for when we were a much more primitive and nose based people. ie we have non head hair in 2 major spots, pubic and underarm, also 2 spots that secrete the most pheromones.

he cant F it up without your permission, so don't grant him that power. you are stronger today than you were last time he was in your life.

the stigma exists because of 2 things, first the unfortunate fact that we in the US were founded by a bunch of uptight religious nutbags who thought sex was absolutely shameful, even for procreative reasons no less ( despite the song of solomons hotness). And they continue to this day obscuring and denying the education of people because of their discomfort with the subject. how many Planned parenthood clinics have been shut down over the last 3 decades in which the religious right have made a resurgence in our politics? lets look at the Netherlands, where sex ed is started in kindergarten ( age appropriate of course) sex is out in the open, prostitution is legal and regulated. there are far less instances of STIs and no stigma around them, far fewer teens get pregnant ( they have a saying over there, the pill is to not have babies, the condom is to help not have stis, and a fair number of teens are on the pill) funny thing, those same teens who are on the pill, have less sex!!! yep, more virgins in the same demographic group as americans where the only sex ed is abstinence. ive always thought it funny that in the US we teach kids about drugs to make them not take them but deny them info about sex to make them not have it. wait what???? secondly, there gold in them there stigmas! yep H wasn't even stigmatized until a pharma company developed the first antiviral and wanted a hefty return on their investment. sex sells, sexual stigma sells.

life is a sexually transmitted and terminal disease and you may as well enjoy it cause aint nobody getting out of here alive.

nope, construction worker. mainly restoration so I do myriad number of things in differing conditions. hate painting, too boring for me. lol.

ok. so there are 2 types of H and they generally live in 2 areas. they don't especially like the other area. in order of occurrences, H1 orally, H2 genitally,H1 genitally,H2 orally. H2 orally is the rarest form and doesn't present a whole lot as its not its preferred area. they can be cross transmitted, ie if you have oral H1 you can give it to someone genitally thru oral sex, if someone has H1 genitally they can give it to someone genitally also. however, when a person has 1 type of H it does give some protection against the other with H2 giving almost immunity to h1 ( according to terry warren) it would take special circumstances and lack of precaution for it to happen. ie, you are having an active OB and perform oral on your woman who just shaved and cut herself and your ob gets on the cut, maybe, she gets your H1 genitally. generally people who have both strains obtained H1 first ( in childhood usually) and H2 later. sometimes the immune system just gets overwhelmed. so if your girl has H2 genitally and you have h1 orally then barring an active OB on your part with open sores, cuts on hers you should be fine. both of you staying in good health and taking suppressive helps even more. (and really, if you have an open sore on your mouth and or she has one down there are you really going forward with the sexy time??) that's my understanding of things. there are some vids about oral sex and H. so proceed with care and use common sense. im sure other will chime in here. I don't have a holster full of links to add.

shouldn't. you would have to touch a sore then the cut to autoinnoculate there AND it still might not take because you have there antibodies running around in your blood. antibodies, NOT the virus, herpes is not a blood born virus. so im assuming since your female your talking bikini area not your chiny chin chin. some of the women have discussed this before on here. I think shaving may be a trigger for some. they had tips on how to help prevent them. I will say, as a male I used to shave down there but now I use a beard trimmer with the lowest setting so as to not nick myself and also, a landing strip is sexy, so is a well quaffed pubic area. doesn't have to be totally nude.

well, it will probably be good to get back into the flow of life. ive been thru depression myself and it really helped it when I started engaging the world again, found a job, etc. sitting around all day in an insular bubble isn't good for us humans. work helps me with my H, I don't have time to think about it at work and doing the things I need to do normalizes it. there may be days where the matra is, put left foot forward, now right foot, now left. breathe in, breathe out. however where depression and neurotically thinking about our virus are concerned, work helps tons. while I cant speak to anyone elses OBs ( esp womens) I do know this, if a 50 year old male with a few extra pounds can get out into the florida heat and climb ladders, scaffolding, go 15 stories up a building in a swing stage ( wearing I might add a safety harness designed by the marquis de Sade himself) I think you will be ok. ever work with a flu starting or a toothache? allergies? H will become the work health equivalent eventually. as to the guy, if he is treating you badly, cut your losses. you owe him nothing and are better than him. this is one that's tough to help with because matters of the heart are the ones that cut the deepest. and intercourse isn't all its cracked up to be, its all the stuff that leads up to it that are the funnest in my opinion ;)~ and if you go back to work you will have more cheddar to have fun with, maybe take a few long weekends here or there. look for a meetup group in your area. ive been to a couple meetups for my local H support group and had a blast. just being out with people who either have H or are partners to people with H and no one cares, no one is uncomfortable is fantastic for the soul. " hey im a normal person!" ( well somewhat but its not H that makes me abnormal). good luck, you will do great!! go get em kiddo.

thank you all but this wasn't really about me. I just had an observation that, while disclosure is hard, at least you have managed to get to the need to disclose point and that in its self is a win.

Hello, some of you know me some not so much. I sit here on a Friday evening alone. I just came from a post night out with coworkers where I sat next to several beautiful women whom I tried to engage in conversation. most were polite, we talked, laughed etc but nothing more. on my way home I was thinking about how people come on here and are full of anxiety about disclosing to someone they are interested in, and the song by journey " ask the lonely" popped into my head. So, for those of you who are worried, I feel you but think about this: you have someone you are willing to let this far into you!!!. I would take a thousand possible post disclosure rejections just to get to the need to disclose point right now. So, when your feeling disclosure is hard, just ask the lonely.

She have a sister??? Good luck.

@FLNewH, he has a better chance of getting jacked up driving US19.

Beer

well, he needs to be tested regardless, and that "could" help in understanding who had what. I am a male and I experienced no burning pee with my first OB, doctor thought it was mono of all things ( another cousin of herpes btw). if you both get a blood test, IGG, and either are neg at this point but 1 is post then the pos has had it longer as it takes about 4 months ( give or take) for a strong positive to show up. IE, if a person gets blood but is neg or low and they get a pos swab and their partner gets a pos blood test, partner has had it longer. that being said the blame game doesn't do anyone any good really. it could have been with either of you for years with no OB, or a mild OB believed to have been something else. my first bumps coincided with the "mono" and were believed to have been a bacterial infection. and while he was a walk in doc he did seem to have some knowledge of STIs cause we went down the list of usual suspects ( herpes was played by Kevin Spacey). so talk with him, explain the situation and demand he do a test also ( in a non ultimatum way) and then you can begin to figure out things.

just a peck on the check cause a real kiss and she would be swooning. derp.

well your going to have to trust your gut on this. changing theories would be a red flag for me. add the other trust issues. on the tests, a blood test can give "some" indication as in it takes approx. 3-4 months to show the antibodies. the human body is very diverse, we have people who tested negative ( as apposed to unclean, a term we aren't comfortable with here btw) almost a year post exposure and dancer knows someone who had it like 20 years before first ob. hsv 1 is more comfortable around the mouth, it can and does go genital and will be much more latent there' not sure what I or anyone could say about the trust issues other than trust your instincts. whats the saying from the 80s nuclear detente? trust but verify.

good luck and isalright, forgedaboutit.

too bad cold doesn't affect us like the ladies, makes stuff stand up and say HI!. lol

well im thinking he would have rejected you based on herpes before asking you to marry him. he knows and is ok with the risk and is embarking on what is suppose to be a lifelong commitment, im thinking he isn't too concerned about acquiring it. just my .02$ as far as the possible transmittal, I assume at some point your going to want wee ones? last I checked condoms don't work to well to that end, unless he has some extremely strong swimmers.

if you have a number for him you could also get a cheap phone from Walmart and send a message with it. or a burner app off google play. since you know who it is do you know his address? drop a letter in the mail, no return address. I know its old fashioned compared to FB and all the shinies we have today but it still works.