fitgirl

@cariboo Ya.... that's what I would have paid. With coverage I paid $127 for 60. If I had bought 30 at a time it would have been better since my coverage is geared for one month at a time. Pain in the ass.... I use to get 6 months worth at a time and paid a fraction of that cost. No matter how you slice it, its not cheap! (btw I am self employed so I have no extra RX benefits but my BF was able to get me on his plan at work so for the first time I have some coverage which is a bonus for me)

I am not sure about ordering online. I have coverage so it helps greatly (I could afford it if I had to but that's not the point). I will look in to online options and keep everyone posted!

I just came back from the pharmacy and it was confirmed.... we can no longer obtain generic Valtrex in this country. After a lengthy court battle the generic producer lost the case and Valtrex is the ONLY option. Extremely disappointing news for 2 reasons, I preferred the generic meds physically and secondly... Valtrex is easily three times the cost. The pharmacist said this is indefinite unless of course the decision is appealed. The biggest issue with this development is that Valtrex will become unaffordable for so many people and as a result we will see an increase in suffering from symptoms of outbreaks and an increased risk of transmission. The high cost of the drug will exclude many people from the option of suppressive therapy and that is obviously a huge setback. I understand that the companies have proprietary rights to their drugs and it is my understanding that the generics may have breached some of these. We can only hope that there is a viable resolution or option in the near future. It would be interesting to know if this issue is only in Canada or if it impacts other countries?

@riverstyx I am glad you have someone in your life you can connect to. We don't need many, we just need a few. Blood doesn't connect us in the way we hope it would at times. Love has so many layers and sources. Be open to all the opportunities and don't let the disappointing relationships define you. The world is full of positive connections you just have to allow them into your life.

@riverstyx and @WCSdancer2010 As always dancer has a softer approach than many of us and she is not wrong about ignorance. It's always better to give the benefit of the doubt. That said........ there is a really fine line between ignorant and asshole ;) sometimes, ignorance is at play and requires empathy and guidance but when you offer that up time and time again and you are continually hurt and dismissed by the ones you need support from they may not merely be ignorant but actual assholes :). All I am saying, is that I understand how hurtful it is when your feelings are not considered and you are not validated and this isn't even about herpes, its about respect in general. I am not suggesting you be antagonistic to your family or give up hope in trying to get through to them but I do know how you feel. It's a hard position to be in..... family is complicated and they do their best but often it falls short.

@lilac1121 That is fantastic! Bask in the afterglow of a successful disclose, you have earned it. Another great example of how amazing the experience can be once you just get it off your chest. Congrats :)

@shocked80 no, it shouldn't always happen. I know some people refrain from shaving to avoid the possibility but I found that it was not typically an issue for me as long as I used a lot of shave cream and the fresh razor. I grew up in the 80's and I'm not ready to rock "the bush" again :)

@shocked80 shaving can trigger an outbreak for some people so see how it goes for you. I find that if I use a really sharp razor it's fine, a slightly duller one is more likely to trigger symptoms

@riverstyx THEY ARE BEING ASSHOLES. As far as I can tell..... you are doing all the right things. All the responsible things and even if they don't understand it completely they should be supportive of "doing the right thing". I am sorry to hear they are so harsh and ignorant. I am sorry they don't understand. It doesn't make sense to me. I have herpes and I have a son...... I would never trivialize my son and never trivialize the impact of herpes (or anything he felt was important). Parents do their best but they often miss the mark completely. Truth is.... is you have never had herpes (or thought you did) you can't relate. They are just a typical part of the population. Just because they are related doesn't always mean they will "get it". You are smarter and stronger than that. Don't let them bring you down, it's all they know. Just remember, you can be better and do better. Our parents disappoint us at times, it doesn't make them bad people, just limited. You can take the good and leave the bad. Don't take it personally, they are just dealing with what they are capable of. It's not YOU, it's THEM :)

@riverstyx You have shown grace and dignity so far and I would expect nothing less :) it's unfortunate that you didn't / don't have the support of your family. Ignorance is all around us and unfortunately it can come from the ones we love too. You are better than that and you are enlightened as a result of your scare. Herpes has a stigma but we can change that one person at a time. Our deepest connections are often the ones we make on our own, not the ones we are born into. Family can be complicated and judgmental. You can create a family of your own that breaks that cycle and I believe that you will. Regardless of what happens with this girl, you have grown immensely already. Keep going! Don't be afraid, be open and see this as an opportunity to learn and grow. Herpes has given you a gift and you don't even have the virus.....that's awesome shit right there ;)

@riverstyx Ok.... soooooo remember the scare you had? Remember how you felt when you thought you had herpes? Don't ever forget that feeling. IF she does have something, it would be great if you could be as open and accepting of her as she took your "disclosure" right? And IF you did have herpes, wouldn't you have wanted someone to accept you? My point is, it's natural to have some concern over this but you should have a clear understanding of how shitty it feels to be on the other side and how amazing it would feel to have someone's support. The reality is.... unless she has HIV or HSV, the other std's are treatable and curable so no big deal really. (HPV is incurable but likely you both have that already if you have slept with more than 3 people ) Regardless of the outcome, it will be just fine. Go into it with the positivity and understanding you would appreciate. Keep us posted! :)

@riverstyx To clarify..... you are worried about HER results? what if she has other std's? What if she has HSV2?

@Newatthis Isn't it amazing how hard some disclosures can be even after having done them before and after having herpes for so long???? Just goes to show that us veterans struggle with them still. I am 41 and contracted herpes in the late 90's, have had disclosures and two long term , one short term relationship also but found myself back in the disclosure ring. I found the most recent disclosure to be the hardest! I was heavily invested in the man I was disclosing to and that made the process even scarier than the ones before. I felt I had soooo much to lose. All that said, the disclosure went well and my man had ZERO issues with my herpes. My advice to you is to use his "joke" as your starting point. Refer to his comment on his profile and ask him if he does have that paperwork (in a joking but serious way). You can start by saying you have your paperwork and you would like to compare notes :). If he has it, great! (but make sure they actually tested for herpes) if he doesn't then that would be a good time to get tested! Most jokes like that are made out of some form of insecurity or paranoia, it doesn't mean he will react badly to your status. It may have just been a way for him to stand out or "break the ice" on his profile. We all make jokes that we don't realize might hit close to home or be a sensitive spot for others. To us, they are just jokes and we don't necessarily realize how others may perceive the joke. Don't let the comment he made deter you and don't assume he will react poorly. Use some humor in your disclosure, it really does help give off a positivity to a topic that is way too often clouded in negative feelings like guilt and shame. Good luck and keep us posted :)

@shocked80 you can have them even if you don't have anal sex. The virus could have travelled at the initial infection while wiping but herpes is an infection of the nerves so the OB can erupt in different locations along the nerve ending. I know a lot of people tend to get the Ob's in the same spot all the time but mine travels..... tailbone, anus, labia..... list goes on. any connected nerve cluster in the genital area seems to be game for me! you can try a suppository and if it helps it feel better and go away, it was likely a hemmorhoid :)

It's tough to tell the difference unfortunately. I get both and it's often unclear which one I am having. I find that the OB goes away much faster than the hemorrhoids. That said, it's also possible to have them both at the same time. The bleeding is typically more related to the hemorrhoids but there is no way to say for sure! Sorry, I don't have any answers for you but I do have the same problem ;)

You nailed it..... we have the power to create our destiny through our thoughts and energy. That energy works both ways and many people struggle in constant negativity then wonder why they are stuck in a bad place that feels like it's getting worse. The energy you put out into the world is the energy it gives back to you. We in fact have more control of our destiny than we think.... ask for what you need, be positive, open and honest. You will receive the same gifts back :)

@lilac1121 I have been where you are. After years with the same man I found myself back in the dating world and it felt like I was starting from scratch. Even though I had the virus for many years, I now had to disclose again..... it was excruciating!!!! BUT I put on my big girl panties and pulled the trigger. I offered information, I offered my experiences and my story. I put myself out there 100% and I rolled the dice. It's really the only choice we have. Scary as hell but you will survive regardless of the outcome. Just be open and honest. Listen and be patient if he has questions and concerns. Be prepared for any outcome but don't anticipate the worst.... after all.... it worked out pretty well the last time right ;)

Yes it happens. Dancer has some statistical numbers on this I am sure. The odds are much much lower when doing all the right protective things but there is never a guarantee transmission won't happen. Never assume the condoms and antivirals will protect you 100%, there is ALWAYS a risk of transmission.

@kitcat77 It's great to hear stories from the younger demographic. Thank you for that post..... sometimes hearing from us "old folks" isn't as comforting to the younger members so any input from your age bracket is welcomed!

interesting, may become an alternative treatment to valtrex for those who don't react well to the drug. All treatments have to start somewhere!

Sex can trigger OB's for sure but if you have one already then it's not an issue :). If he doesn't get them regularly, that will likely be the case no matter what he does and doesn't do! For you.... in time you will find a groove.... everyone is different but you will find a balance and it won't be so bad, trust me :) I know that most advice is to NOT have sex when you have an OB... if your partner is H- that is absolute. If your partner is H+ and doesn't trigger easily it becomes a personal choice. I spent 10yrs with an H+ man who never got OB's regardless so it didn't deter us. You just have to figure out what works for you guys. BOTH of you are in this together, remember that ;)

A vaccine is for people who don't have herpes yet, so maybe get your friends and family on the list :)

@JessikaRabbit89 get up, wear a smoking outfit that is loose fitting, go command and go to work :). Movement will help the nerve pain (sitting still only makes it worse) and staying home only makes you feel worse. More time to obsess about the pain and discomfort and that leads to depression which leads to more days off work which leads to losing your job which leads to more depression....see where I am going with this ;) I know it sucks and it hurts! Been there. I am a fitness professional and have gone to work many many days with pain and an ob. It's uncomfortable yes, but staying active and in the land of the living will make you feel better. Unemployed with herpes is was worse than employed with herpes :)

@sadpanda I echo the sentiment that you need to relax a bit and ride out this phase. Learning to adjust to the OB's and not stressing about them may be your best treatment. Over time they should get less severe. How much of the meds were you on? 500mg is what has worked for me. I have been with an H+ man who almost never got OB's too.....its frustrating as hell for sure. I was getting OB's for over 15yrs and they were every three months or so with varying degrees of severity and he had nothing!!! We had sex many times while I had an OB and still he was fine!!! Ah well, I wore loose clothing, ate well, stayed rested and learned to roll with it. Sometimes the OB's would last a few days, sometimes a few weeks. I have done everything I am "suppose" to do to minimize the ob's but I am one of the one's who just happens to get them more often. It's often around the time of my period. The lifestyle choices may or may not make a difference, some get away with bad lifestyle habits and never get ob's others aren't so lucky. That just the luck of the draw. So.....my point is, you can continue on with your life and manage the symptoms the best way you can (keep trying things) it will improve over time I am sure but most importantly don't let this consume you and get in the way of your relationship. Your inability to move forward will get old fast :). It's not to say the process doesn't take time, it does. And it's way harder when you have a constant physical reminder (I have been there) but start climbing out of the hole and see that you have a great man waiting for you patiently at the top.....you can do it!

Ocular herpes can be seen among wrestlers due to the closeness of the fighting and swapping fluids, its not that common for the general adult public population. Also... don't forget about the option of sex toys!!!