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So how did you contract herpes?

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I'm curious how you all contracted H. I've often wondered if there's anyone out there who got it despite all the precautions being used.


1. Do you know who gave you H? If so, did that person disclose to you prior?


2. How long did you have sex with this person before you got it?


3. Did you use condoms?


4. Was your partner on antivirals?

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So here is my response:


1. Got it from my ex H when we began dating in late 1995/early 1996. He disclosed but waited right until we were ready to have sex the first time (literally as we were in bed together...not a good idea!).


2. I had my first OB on my upper thigh after we had been together for a month or two so not very long.


3. I think I got it the one time we did not use condoms. :(


4. He was not on antivirals since daily suppressive therapy wasn't an option back then.

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Three months later, I'm still shocked at how I contracted it, despite trying to be as safe as I think we possibly could have been in the situation, so here are my answers:


1) I know exactly who it was, and yes, he did disclose - although he told me while we were in bed and things were already getting physical. Although I never brought up the topic of STIs before jumping in myself ... so foolish.


2) We only had sex one time. Three weeks to the day of, I had my first outbreak. I was diagnosed visually a few days later and the swab of my lesion tested positive for HSV-1 genital a week after that.


3) Yes, we used a condom. Lots and lots of lube, too (I noticed that without realizing why he was using so much until later). And he had no visible outbreak. BUT we also had a lot of full body skin to skin contact and mutual touching before the condom came out.


4) He does not take antivirals and told me he has only taken medication one time since his diagnosis (he has had it for 8 years), and only uses Lysine to manage his outbreaks.

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1. Yes. He didn't disclose. I think he lied because he told me other lies. If he didn't know he had the virus, he continued to be in denial after I told him I got it from him and that he needs to get tested.


2. Once.


3. Yes. He touched me down there after he put on the condom. After we had sex which was very quick, he looked at his genital region while he was taking off the condom (he didn't ejaculate). Then made an excuse that he had to go pick up his friend and left.


4. Don't know.

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1. No I do not... could have been my mum who had HSV1 or maybe a childhood friend sharing a cup or a kiss or who knows!


2. Haha nope!


3. Yes but only to create misshapen balloons


4. Again I gave no clue!


It's interesting so many of you have some sort of an idea behind your exposure and maybe a story to tell behind it. I am fortunate I wasn't one who was in a relationship and lied to and then gifted so I do feel for all of you that do.


I hope all your days have been bright and good.

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1. yes. and no.

2. 4 months

3. no, ugh, ugh, ugh

4. grrr no to that one too. no real job, so no health ins. possibly due to expense?


we don't speak at all now. i"ll always wonder why he didn't disclose. i would have stayed and learned all i could about precautions. that's how much i cared for him. selfish bastard.

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1. Yes and no

2. 6 months

3. No

4. No

Never saw anything on him. Not sure why it took so long to show up on me. We were together daily for three months. Then we slowed things down.

Now I have H ( thing ) 1,2 for the rest of my life.

Diagnosed about a month now.


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@stressing - some people NEVER get H from a partner ... I know a handful of couples in the 20+ yr mark with one H+ and one H-. It certainly helps if the H+ knows they have it because they can abstain if they suspect they are shedding. But I know one where she had her first OB after 30 yrs of H and he is still H- (that sure did put a kink in their marriage until the Dr explained she could have been asymptomatic all that time :( )

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1 my ex gave h to me, he either cheated on me or just lied to me

2 we had been having sex for about 3 months but only one time without a condom

3 just the one time we didn't use a condom

4 no he wasn't because "it didn't come from him" but my initial infection is what got my baby sick and caused her to pass away.

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1. I'm not altogether sure. Sometimes I think my ex, whom I was with for 10 years- and that I was dormant all this time. I can't be sure I haven't been newly exposed this past Feb. w/a new partner.


2. The ex... thousands over 10 years. February Dude=1 time.


3. Never. :( I am latex allergic and forgot to tell the new partner. Rather than undergo a severe yeast infection, I opted to trust him. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.


4. Who knows? He seemed awfully confident he was clean as a whistle, so I doubt it. And my ex-never to my knowledge.

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1. No, but I have my suspicions.


2. We were intimate for 8 years and I wasn't tested for it til the 8th year.


3. Nope and I could kick myself


4. I don't think he knew or knows he had it, but we don't speak anymore so idk what he's taking these days.

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1. 95% sure who I got it from, and no, he was unaware that he had it and asymptomatic


2. after the first time having sex I felt off (possible prodrome), 2nd time I had symptoms the very next day and progressed rapidly


3. yes, and then no


4. no, due to the fact he was unaware


Patiently waiting for both of our blood test results, but maybe that won't even give us straight forward answers that would make the most sense out of this! There's too many potentials with this virus... :/


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Is there anyone who has contracted herpes from a partner who was taking antivirals? It seems most the stories I hear are from people who had sex a handful of times and contracted it from a person who didn't disclose/wasn't aware, or people with herpes who have been in a relationship for years and takes care of themself and takes antivirals and never passes it on.

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I can't answer the above question, but thought I'd put in my two cents about two of my friends circumstances-which really seem to prove that it's a total crap shoot.


I have one friend who has had HSV2 for 15 years now. She has had many partners since then, and a few long term relationships (1 6 month, and a few 2 years +). She has never passed it on to anyone, at least that she knows of. Some of them she used condoms religiously with, but other ones they made the decision not to (and had sex for years without a condom).


I have another friend whose boyfriend has HSV2. They've been having unprotected sex for a year now-and she's fine.


Soooo….it's weird. Some of us get it the first time-some of us get it even with a condom-some never get it (or at least never show symptoms).



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1. Do you know who gave you H? If so, did that person disclose to you prior?


I am 99% sure of who gave it to me, and he didn't know he had it, so there was no disclosure.


2. How long did you have sex with this person before you got it?


Over a year :(


3. Did you use condoms?


Yes :(


4. Was your partner on antivirals?


No :(



For all these reasons I have no bitterness towards him, except that he still refuses to get tested. I feel like I am the only one carrying the emotional baggage, the trauma of a horrendous outbreak, and a nonexistent sex life (mostly because I don't have faith that the men in my life will understand/take the risk)

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  • 3 weeks later...


1. Yes, I do know who gave it to me but he didn't disclose the information to me beforehand. He never actually told me. I found out from the girl he was cheating on me with because he gave it to her as well.


2. We had only been having sex for a month before I got it.


3. Never used a condom. Completely my fault. I should have known better.


4. He didn't take antivirals. I don't think he cared about transmission, unfortunately.



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