mr_hopp

How about now? :) And if not, here's a link to youtube directly: http://youtu.be/BVo6mS1pwMY

Hey all! My friend just posted this to his Facebook wall and I wanted to share it with you all. It touches on some beautiful points that we tend to talk about on this forum. It speaks to what to do when we find ourselves in a heavy place ... not just the kind of heavy that might have us considering suicide, but the whole range of heavy. This guy has a beautiful heart and I love him a lot. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVo6mS1pwMY

Hey Moveon! I hear you. I can see how that could be discouraging. And it could seem like saying "He's not the right one" is simply a cop-out. But ultimately, that's how it played out: He thinks it's a "problem" ... You said it yourself: You're just not that into him. And you see what you said about you being the type of person who wouldn't date someone with an STD? Of course you'd feel like this is a dead end. You're hanging onto that belief now even as a person with an STD. I find that the people who don't think getting an STD is a big deal are the people who never did judge STDs to begin with; the people (like you and me and plenty of others) who struggle with their STD diagnosis are the people who judged "those dirty people" with STDs. The work here is to actively shift that belief within yourself that having an STD means all those horrible things. The deeper you truly believe that no one without an STD would want to date someone with an STD, then you will attract those people who won't want to take that chance. But think about it: The person who truly connects with you on a deep level and appreciates what they find will not see a simple skin condition as a barrier to moving into a deeper relationship. Be careful you aren't actually creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Especially considering how you got herpes from a guy who basically lied to you, that feels like another layer to your beliefs around what herpes means to YOU. I'm hearing that herpes means 2 major things to you so far: 1) No one without herpes will want to date you, 2) herpes means dishonesty and distrust. Those are beliefs you are choosing to hold onto on a deep level. And I'm not judging you for that. I held onto those beliefs for so LONG ... until I realized I was holding onto them and I had the choice to let go of them and live my life. And no, of COURSE you aren't wrong wanting to have sex with someone who actually loves you. ;) Listen to yourself: You just said as if it's a matter of fact that you are destined to be alone the rest of your life! Be careful of making absolute statements like that as if they are absolute truth. They aren't. I can find plenty of proof to disprove your definitive statements. If you take a few rejections as grounds for a 100% belief in how your future with herpes will be, then your future will undoubtedly be that way. I promise! I speak from experience. Now herpes is NOT a block for me in the SLIGHTEST. And this has happened for many people on this site as well. It's a deep, profound perspective shift that happens, and after that shift happens, you won't see the world this way anymore. Give yourself a break, please. It hurts my heart to hear you talk so definitively about something that could ultimately have such a minimal impact on your life if you shift your attitude to yourself. Give yourself the option of considering that you will find plenty of people who will love you regardless of herpes. Because that's the actual TRUTH. I promise you. Pinky promise. ;) And with all that said, let me be clear: I also honor all of your pain, sadness, anger ... Allowing yourself to feel all of that is perfectly okay and healthy. I am standing up to all of those cruel things you're saying about yourself. It's just not cool with me when you treat yourself like that. It's not cool with me that you are saying hurtful things that will have you feeling less than about yourself. I am standing for your greatness, your lovability, your beauty, your sexiness, your future. This isn't the end. It's the beginning of a deeper path for you.

I agree that herpes itself doesn't deserve to be glorified, nor does it deserve to be vilified either! It just is. And ultimately it is what we make it. I am thankful for the awareness and consciousness that allowed me and all of you to realize all the bullshit stories and beliefs that I was believing (I'm not lovable, I'm not worthy, etc.) ... I'm proud of myself and all of you who have recognized that WHO WE ARE is more important than herpes, that we have the power to choose where we put our attention, and hence the experience we create for ourselves. Moveon, what jumped out to me about what you said is to ask you this: What are you getting by not letting him off the hook? By choosing to hold on to the anger, the revenge, all that energy, how does that feel for you? It reminds me of the idea that anger toward someone else is like us taking poison and expecting the other person to die. And HCTS, that's another video I actually have shown on the H Opp weekend! ;) We're really on the same page, darlin' ... ;)

This is definitely a case to seek advice through the medical channels. Do you have a regular doctor you see? We can't help you figure out what's going on without an actual checkup. But we are here for you for emotional support regardless of what you find out medically! We're her for you, SW!

How's this for a therapeutic drug? The mind. ;) http://www.highexistence.com/the-wim-hof-method-revealed-how-to-consciously-control-your-immune-system/

These days, I almost hesitate to post these kinds of things based on what I voiced previously on this post. It gives people hope, yes, but there have been so many hopes very similar to this that have had people put their lives on hold waiting for some sort of cure that may never come. It's a double-edged sword: Awesome that there seems to be a cure in sight, but live your life NOW. That's what we're all about.

Exactly. I understand that totally. And just know that it's a mental block, not a physical one due to herpes. Hence why I call this place the Herpes Opportunity. It's an opportunity to dig into all of your emotional/mental blocks that each of us have around intimacy (hey, it's called being human) and clearing the blocks that don't serve us. It's about having more options in how we choose to think about our sex lives. What originally might feel like a block around herpes actually turns into feeling like freedom once you get past the shame and into the self-acceptance. I promise. And it's a process. :)

With sex these days, there is no such thing as 100% safe. You're never 100% safe from ANY of the STDs, even wearing condoms, taking suppressive therapy, wearing a biohazard suit ... ;) If you're having sex, there's always a risk. This is not to freak anyone out, but to just be real about the world we find ourselves in. That said, the more suppressive therapy and condom usage, the LOWER the risk. Take a look at this handout for more on the contagiousness of herpes and transmission rates and such: http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout Also, since it sounds like you already have the other strain of herpes (HSV-1) on your lips, your body already has built up a lot of immunity for as long as you've had the virus in your body. That gives you another layer of protection from possibly getting HSV-2 genitally. And with all that said, again, there is always a risk. Just be smart about it. I like that you're a fanatic about being safe, but be aware when your fanaticism crosses the line into worrying yourself sick about it. Sex isn't supposed to bum you out or make you paranoid. Be as safe and as smart as you can be and enjoy the rest. Sex is fun. (Adrial's quote of the day.) ;)

Possibly, but also possibly that your body got a lot of sun, too. I've heard a lot of stories of sun triggering herpes outbreaks because it overextends the body and puts a strain on the immune system. And the longer you have herpes, the better your body tends to naturally manage it, so little triggers here and there don't push it over the edge into an outbreak.

I can't wait for the upcoming H Opp weekend! It's only 10 days away! :)

Hey all of you lovely H Opp family! I'm now putting my efforts into developing a home study course based off of the H Opp weekend workshop and all of my knowledge and experience in coaching many people through herpes shame and into self-acceptance. I get people telling me all the time that they'd love to come to the weekend workshop here in North Carolina, BUT they just can't afford to travel here to attend in person OR the shame makes showing their face in person seemingly impossible. I want to be able to give all of you who can't make the in-person weekend a structured way to move through your own shame with group support and into acceptance ... from the comfort of your own home. :) Click here to join the early interest list for a special beta discount! This home study course will include: • Videos of me (Adrial) coaching you one-on-one through each carefully-crafted exercise • Role-playing videos to give you experience of how to take action on "loving shamelessly" • A structured and proven way for you to heal in a step-by-step fashion • Practices to do on a consistent basis that will move you through your own healing process • All of my experience in leading the H Opp weekends and coaching private clients over the years • A built-in family of support and compassion that will last long after the course is complete • An affordable pricetag and a 100% moneyback satisfaction guarantee Are YOU interested in going through this course? If so, go ahead and submit your name/email to this interest list and I'll give you a special discount on the beta version when it's finished: Click here to join the early interest list for a special beta discount! I'm really excited to create this for all of you! Much love!

Hey SE! Read this article first and then if you have any other questions, let us know! http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/ And to answer your specific question, Acyclovir is super cheap if you get it through big box stores with pharmacies like Kroger or Wal-Mart. I think I paid something like $40 for a 3-month supply. But be clear on why you're taking the medication if you're not with a partner you're protecting and if your body is already starting to develop antibodies against future outbreaks. (Think about it: If you only have 1-2 outbreaks per year that last about a week, you're medicating every single day just to avoid those few days of discomfort.) You don't HAVE to take medication. There are only 2 reasons to take meds. All of this is in the article above, but it's important you know that. Any medication over the long term will hurt your liver, so take medication wisely only if you have a good reason. Just my 2c. :)

I would avoid having sex during a herpes outbreak, even when the other person has the same strain (HSV-1, HSV-2) in the same location on the body as you. Because during your outbreak, you are at your most contagious and could spread it to other locations on his body and your own (the liquid contained in herpes sores is SUPER contagious). The chances of spreading herpes to other parts of the body are less since your bodies have been developing antibodies against the herpes virus, but there's still a chance. Better to be safe and wait it out. And it doesn't mean you have to stop being intimate! Some of the most intimate, fun times I've had have been during a herpes outbreak where my partner got to explore every part of my body sensually except for my genitals and I got to return the favor. Ooh la la. :) Have fun with it! Don't let it be a barrier to intimacy. Let it open you up to other realms of intimacy that aren't just sex.

Hey Pacific, I wanted to jump in here — I LOVE how inspired you are and how much healing has happened in your heart already. And notice how the shame still creeps in even in seeming moments of positivity: "It's okay to flirt! I'm not repulsive!" That's certainly better than "It's not okay to flirt because I'm repulsive." BUT our minds don't know the difference between "not repulsive" and "repulsive" ... We're still using the word, still feeling the feeling of repulsiveness. Classic example: DON'T think of a PINK ELEPHANT. You just thought of a pink elephant, didn't you? Well I told you NOT to! As long as we're talking about pink elephants (or repulsiveness) — whether agreeing with it or disagreeing — we still have it on our mind. Try actually switching your focus COMPLETELY from the possibility of being repulsive to the FACT that you're beautiful, lovable, funny, honest, etc.? Why even focus on NOT being repulsive when you can focus on BEING all those amazing things you are? See what I mean? It seems to be the next step for you in your healing process, as far as I can see it. Embrace your awesomeness. Now. ;) Just wanted to jump in and share that since that phrase jumped out at me. :) Much love!

You have learned something very valuable here: This is how you feel when you don't tell a partner that you have herpes. Your integrity is kicking in. I imagine your integrity was trying to kick in before, too, but you were to scared to follow it. And I've been there in my past. When I was deep in my shame about having herpes ... And it taught me my valuable lesson that sticks with me to this day. My integrity is that much stronger because of it. And before you ask for advice from people you don't know, ask yourself first. What does your integrity say about telling him you recently found out you have it? When you imagine telling him that, how do you feel? It's not a decision we can make for you. And since you asked, I suggest you be 100% honest with him, because building a relationship on honesty is a powerful foundation for a relationship. And ironically, the only way to possibly create that trust in this relationship is to vulnerably and authentically share that you had betrayed his trust. He may not forgive you for that. And he may. If he does, the foundation of trust is solid and you get to move on from there learning a valuable lesson about relationship. But of course you already knew that, didn't you? :) Sometimes we ask questions we already know the answers to, hoping that we'll get answers that save us from doing the courageous thing.

Care to elaborate HoG? ;)

1) It would seem that your assumption would be correct, but that's more of a question for the doctor. I don't know enough about that specific question to give you an absolute answer that could hold up in a court of law. ;) 2) You could also have cold sores/fever blisters, but they won't spontaneously show up on your lips unless you touch your genital sores and then touch your lips OR if you kiss someone else who also has oral HSV-1. Currently, your HSV-1 is camping out at your basal ganglia, which is located at the base of your spine (oral HSV-1 camps out near the top of the spine. If you only have HSV-1 genitally, the virus doesn't travel up the spine to get to your lips. The path of least resistance from the base of your spine is to your genitals. Of course, what this question doesn't take into consideration is maybe you already have HSV-1 orally but haven't had a visible outbreak yet. And these days, it'll be damn hard to completely protect yourself from oral HSV-1. 80% of Americans 14-49 have it. One sidenote to what I said in that blog article is that it IS actually pretty easy to spread herpes to your eyes. And ocular herpes is pretty uncomfortable from what I hear. So just use soap and you're all good. But don't be paranoid about it. Just be safe. And check out these handouts for all the pertinent facts & figures: http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

Notice what happens when any of you read this ... Does it add to the bad feelings of what it means to have herpes? Is this another perfectly good reason to be depressed/angry/sad about having herpes? Notice your reaction. Or is yours the reaction of "Ah, it is what it is. Interesting."? Fascinating to notice this reaction for yourself. When I read it, I chuckled ... You see, I have a bad memory myself, so now I have something to blame it on. ;) But seriously though, this is another perfect example of something that may or may not happen in the future, just like if someone were to reject or accept you sometime in the future. If we spend our time worrying about it, it wastes our time. Who's to say whether or not you will actually get Alzheimer's from herpes or otherwise? And why worry about it if it does? It really is what it is. And that's all it can be.

Interesting: http://screencast.com/t/LSAMEQnW1

The short answer is I wait about a week to have sex after the last remnants of the outbreak leave. But a lot of people say the transmission possibilities are gone after the scans are healed. I just like to play it extra safe for my partner. The longer answer would involve a deeper inquiry around what "intimacy" means to you? I personally wouldn't avoid intimacy just because of a simple herpes outbreak. Intimacy is much, much more than just sexual contact.

Not likely. You sure you only have HSV-2? Did you get a blood test like the IgG or IgM to confirm? I ask because I get herpes outbreaks in both locations (oral & genital — a two-fer!) and I have both HSV-1 and HSV-2. If you only have HSV-2, then there's only a 1% chance that it will be on your lips, too. (In other words, 99% of oral herpes is only caused by HSV-1.) Here's a blog post I wrote for more on that: http://herpeslife.com/spreading-genital-herpes-hsv2-from-oral-sex ... and here's a handout showing the chances of spreading each strain of the virus to the mouth or genitals: http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

That's awesome news, especially considering that 80% (YES, 80%!) of women will have gotten HPV by the time they're 50 years old! (And 90% of HPV cases clear on their own with the help of the body's immune system, so if you have HPV now, there's still a great chance that it'll leave your body naturally.) http://www.doctoroz.com/slideshow/hpv-facts-stats-and-your-risk#slide-1

First off, I want to welcome you with all my heart to this community. Welcome, welcome. I'm glad you're here. I'm hear that you're hurting, and I feel sad hearing that. And I understand ... I remember when I first got herpes how I felt, how paranoid I was, feeling like every tingle was a soon-to-be eruption of this scary monster ... I remember all of that, and reading your post brings it back to me. And I can tell you that it all changes. I promise. And it takes you being with your feelings, being with yourself, taking care of yourself, connecting on this forum and people who love and accept you. All of that is part of a very beautiful healing process. And it's not fair that he treated you the way he did. You put your trust in him and he betrayed that trust. Please don't let that close you off to other people in the future who do actually deserve your trust. Allow it to inform you, but don't let it close you. I can feel your heart, and it's a big one. It's worthy of being shared with those who deserve it. One thing that jumped out to me in your share was this: "I am disappointed that I wasted this small amount of time (but feels longer) on this man who by my definition was no man in my eyes." This was not a waste. It is teaching you something, isn't it? Isn't it changing the course of how you will live your life? How you will follow your intuition? Every single life experience — yes, every single one! — has tremendous learning value to us if we allow it to. In what you said, I hear you being disappointed in yourself. And again I feel sad hearing that. Here's your opportunity: To take this as a huge learning about the power of your own intuition AND what happens when you lose yourself in someone or something else. Isn't that super valuable? I think so. And when you can allow that self-disappointment to fade away, in comes self-acceptance. And that's the true healing. Again, welcome. So much love to you, Jess. Big, big hugs.

Ah, glad to hear it, kaybee. Thanks for clarifying for us. Yes, sometimes herpes gets blamed for a lot, doesn't it? Poor herpes. ;) Really it's just an occasional, annoying skin condition with a stigma associated with it. Most of the other things that are associated with it are totally in our head or something else entirely. Welcome back! :)