mr_hopp

Good question. The majority of cases when people go in to get their herpes test results, the doctors have been able to determine that what the person thought was their first herpes outbreak was not their first. Many people assume it's an ingrown hair, or a yeast infection or getting cut shaving, or skin irritation from new laundry detergent, etc. The fact that a lot of people's outbreaks are so minimal mixed with plain denial will have many, many people not even realizing they have herpes. And no, the 16.2% of Americans with genital herpes stat won't grow exponentially because even with people having herpes, there's only a 2-10% chance of herpes transmission at any given time. From Dr. Leone's NY Times Q&A: "The classic way to tell you had herpes was sores or ulcers on the genital area that were painful and lasted a few days, and then went away. But our understanding of herpes has increased as the technology has improved. What we’re finding now is that most cases do not fit this classic description. The typical, common way herpes presents is mild irritation that may be mistaken for trauma to the genital area. Most people miss these signs, and most clinicians aren’t looking for it. But what we see is that most will have four to six of these outbreaks in the first year of infection, which decreases over time." Read the post-disclosure cheat sheet for all these helpful stats: http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout ... and watch the full hour-long video when Dr. Leone stopped by the Herpes Opportunity in-person support group. It covers a lot of need-to-know information: http://herpeslife.com/doctor-answers-questions-about-genital-herpes-hsv-and-hpv/

Wow, you're in the extreme minority! Are you absolutely sure it's HSV-2? You got the IgG test confirming that? The reason I ask is because only 1-2% of the population actually has HSV-2 orally (and the majority of the 1-2% are men who have sex with men). Based on the extreme rarity of oral HSV-2, you can see that the HSV-2 strain of the virus prefers NOT to be in the mouth, which means the risk of passing it that way should be much lower. The virus only sheds 1% of the time. See the disclosure handout here to see the stats on viral shedding: http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout The risk of passing HSV-2 to the mouth is so drastically low, in fact, that Dr. Leone even told our in-person support group this past Monday that there is no reason to even abstain from oral sex if you have HSV-2 genitally. Watch the full video here: http://herpeslife.com/doctor-answers-questions-about-genital-herpes-hsv-and-hpv/ And to answer your question, of course you can kiss again! Let your partners know the deal and what a low risk it is and that 80% of Americans ages 14-49 have the HSV-1 strain of herpes orally.

My pleasure! Glad to put you two at ease. Yes, the first herpes outbreak can be a monster. But definitely not representative of how your body will be responding to future outbreaks. Not in the slightest. :) Dr. Peter Leone, an expert in herpes and STDs came to talk to our in-person support group Monday night. He said there is no population-specific data to suggest that any of these remedies help on a grand scale, but who is he to argue with people who do claim that they help (and there are plenty who do claim this)? In my opinion, if the outbreaks persist for much longer (which they shouldn't if you have a good immune system and are taking care of yourself), your best bet is to get a prescription to Valacyclovir or Acyclovir and take daily suppressive therapy. Here's an article on herpes medication: http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/ ... and here's the hour-long video of Dr. Leone's talk (I'm going to be splitting it up into more manageable pieces, but for now, this is a great overview if you have the time to watch it! http://herpeslife.com/doctor-answers-questions-about-herpes/

Hi camelgiraffe, Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing! I'm sorry you're going through that pain of a first herpes outbreak. The first one is always the worst. Then your body builds up immunity to it so subsequent outbreaks get less and less intense/frequent. Also, genital HSV-1 tends to be less frequent/intense anyway since it usually prefers to hang out orally. Hang in there. First herpes outbreaks can last anywhere from a week or two. Can't you go to a clinic in your area? Usually local community clinics don't charge anything, if not nearly free.

I asked Dr. Peter Leone this on Monday when he came to answer questions in our in-person Herpes Opportunity support group here in Raleigh. He says the virus sheds all the time, but in varying degrees. Sometimes you can be shedding virus even with absolutely no signs or symptoms (hence why it's called asymptomatic viral shedding), but I do believe that any itching or burning down there can safely be assumed that you're shedding virus. That's my guess and personal experience, anyway.

HSV-2 doesn't live in the mouth 99% of the time. It prefers the genitals. You don't have HSV-2 in your mouth, so why would it be passed that way? Herpes is passed only from skin-to-skin friction around the infected area. And just to drive this point home, even if he passionately kissed your vagina (like my sly analogy to oral sex?), the likelihood of passing genital HSV-2 to his mouth is slim to none. (HSV-1 is another story since that can be passed in both directions from mouth to genitals and vice versa.) So go out there and enjoy kissing, wherever it may be! ;) Read these articles for more information on all this: http://herpeslife.com/genital-hsv-1-herpes-and-oral-sex/ http://herpeslife.com/spreading-genital-herpes-hsv2-from-oral-sex/ http://herpeslife.com/how-can-you-get-herpes/

Yes, if you're touching open sores and then touching your eye, it can spread to become ocular herpes, so don't do that. :) But the second that soap touches herpes, it dies, so just wash your hands if you touch your herpes outbreak. The eyes are a mucous membrane, which is why it's easy to spread herpes there. But once you already have herpes antibodies in your bloodstream, it's difficult to auto-inoculate to other parts of your body.

Tears in my eyes. Chills down my spine. Thank you, Brenda. Wow. I appreciate the deep, deep acknowledgement. Blown away right now. Humbled. Thank you, Lelani! That feels really good to hear, too. See you in New Zealand soon for your wedding! ;) And thanks to the rest of you wishing me well, Atlantic, free2be, LBN! It's been my honor and inspiration to bring all of this to you. In awe daily at everyone who opens their heart and vulnerability here.

No, herpes doesn't spread that way. It only spreads with direct skin-to-skin contact. And FYI, IgM tests aren't as good at detecting herpes as the IgG test. He could be a silent carrier. 15-20% of people who carry the herpes virus (that still silently sheds 10% of the time) never have an outbreak, so the only way they could find out that they do have herpes is if they specifically asked for the IgG blood test, which isn't part of regular STD screenings.

I just spoke with Dr. Peter Leone last night who is at the forefront of all things herpes/HPV. (I'll be posting the hour-long video of him after I edit it.) He says of all the vaccines out there that there are some promising ones and he says at best it will be about 5-10 years for any of them to get to market.

Hey SunnyDays! Welcome to the forums! I'm glad you're reaching out and getting knowledge. The more of that you get, the less the stigma can get a good foothold on you. ;) From what you're saying I'd say there's a 99% chance that you got your HSV-1 from him giving you oral sex. 50% of new genital herpes cases are HSV-1 from oral sex: http://herpeslife.com/genital-hsv-1-herpes-and-oral-sex/ Oral herpes sheds just like genital herpes sheds. Without any signs or symptoms, the virus can be shedding. Check out the post-disclosure handout here for all the specifics: http://herpeslife.com/resources/ P.S. Nothing is too graphic here. Try us. I dare you. ;) What's most important is that we all share what's going on with us so all of us can learn and be the most knowledgeable we can be. That is the only way for us to drop the shame and dispel the stigma.

It's very hard to spread genital HSV-2 to your mouth. Only 1-2% of HSV-2 is oral. That said, if you have genital HSV-1, you can spread that to your mouth, which 80% of Americans ages 14-49 have (also innocently called cold sores). Read the 2 handouts here for most of the upfront information you'll need: http://herpeslife.com/resources/

Have you downloaded the post-disclosure handout yet? The risks are all broken down there. And yes, it is very rare (only 1-2% of oral herpes is HSV-2). Still important for your partner to know, but to let them know the chances are super low, basically to the point of being non-existent. From our meeting with Dr. Peter Leone Monday, he says there's no reason any of us should not allow oral sex to be a healthy part of our sexual diet. ;) http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout ... and here are some blog postings about this: http://herpeslife.com/genital-hsv-1-herpes-and-oral-sex/ http://herpeslife.com/spreading-genital-herpes-hsv2-from-oral-sex/

Ah, Lelani. I love you. You have been such a powerful, loving and beautiful pillar of our community. You deserve all the love and joy that you have coming to you! I'm so proud of your courage to be yourself, your integrity, your care, your dedication to the growth of yourself and others, your positivity. Thanks for the update and the inspiration! I'm glad I have a damn good excuse to visit New Zealand. ;) Big hugs!

Herpes outbreaks generally last a week or two until they're completely healed, so it doesn't sound like herpes to me, but keep an eye on it. Again, be cautious but not paranoid. :) Much love and enjoy your beautiful baby!

I hear you. The stigma will have us believe that we're a living contagion. ;) We're not. We just get the occasional skin rash. Why don't you go to the doctor and have that place swabbed to ease your mind?

Here are my answers to the questions you posed: I believe so many of us have herpes (25+ million Americans aged 14-49) because of ignorance, denial and misinformation. If more people knew the symptoms and basic facts about the virus, it's fairly easy to protect sexual partners. It's only when people don't know that they inadvertently pass herpes. I know plenty of people (myself included) who have kept they're partners herpes free through condom use and/or suppressive therapy and knowing their prodrome symptoms. And per the handouts you've read (linked to above), you can see that the chances of transmitting herpes are minuscule. And yes, the herpes virus dies once it's outside the body and touches air. I suppose if you somehow manage to get the liquid from inside a herpes sore and then put that on someone else's cut or mucous membrane, then yes, that would pass herpes to them since the virus is still protected from air. (You'd have to try pretty hard to get this to happen.) ;) Does this help?

Hey all! Check out an interview I just finished up with our new forum member (and sexuality educator) Ashley! We had a great time chatting about herpes (go figure)! What an awesome person! And she'll be coming to help staff the next Herpes Opportunity weekend workshop — http://thehopp.com — yay!

Were you having an active outbreak? If not, it's hard to pass via viral shedding unless there is the kind of skin-to-skin abrasion that comes with sex. I would keep an eye on it, but don't stress yourself out and see yourself as so contagious! It's actually pretty hard to pass to sexual partners, much less a child sitting in your lap for a moment! Be careful, but not paranoid. You're not as contagious as you might think. :)

No, you can't pass it through water. Skin-to-skin contact only with the infected area onto another person's mucous membrane or break in skin. Have you read the handouts yet? http://herpeslife.com/resources/

:) I'm glad my story helped you. And hey, luck has much less to do with it than shifting a perspective that no longer serves you to one that empowers you and has you understanding how lovable you really are. And thanks for the birthday wishes! Here's to another awesome year! Woohoo!

Well, thanks! :)

What I like to do on my birthday (I try to do this every day, but on my birthday especially) is reflect on all the things I'm thankful for. And something that I was reflecting on was appreciating our community here. Having started this forum only a year and a half ago (October 2011) and having it grow like it has with all of you blows my mind. I was so depressed for a long time about this whole herpes thing, so to have such a dramatic shift in my life seeing it as an opportunity and sharing that opportunity with all of you has been such an honor. It was from my own shame and heartache that this community was sparked. And it warms my heart to see each of your heartache transforming to opportunity and self-acceptance and self-love. I'm appreciating each one of you for showing up here and being your raw selves. For supporting one another. For supporting yourself. Because it's only with us being able to be our raw selves and loved for who we are — in all of our beauty, celebration and love AND in all of our shame, pain and grief — that true, deep, sustained healing can take place. When we can accept all of it as okay, then we can accept ourselves. Then we are whole. It's truly a gift to have such heartfelt and beautiful people here. Thank you for being a beautiful birthday gift to me yesterday and every day. Thank you for holding the Opportunity intention of these forums with me. I love our growing community. :) Here's to another year and beyond! Here's to Opportunity!

Hey CRM! Start here: http://herpeslife.com/hsv-1-hsv-2-types-of-herpes/ 50% of new genital herpes cases are HSV-1 from oral HSV-1 being passed through oral sex. It's super common. And you're right, having genital HSV-1 does mean that on average you'll have less outbreaks with less severity, but it all depends on your overall health and how your body deals with the virus. ... and here are a few handouts to read over that go into more clarity around all this. If you have any further questions after reading up on it, let us know and we'll jump in to hopefully clarify! http://herpeslife.com/resources/

It's true that herpes is herpes and you're going to care for yourself the same way regardless of whether you have HSV-1 orally or genitally and whether you have genital HSV-2 (very rarely — 2% — do people have oral HSV-2). The important part in all this is to be knowledgeable for your partner's sake if they don't have herpes (or if they have a different type than you have). They will most likely want to know what the chances of transmission are. So knowing your HSV type will help them understand the risks involved.